


Nothing Lasts Forever

by Hyperionova



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Consensual Infidelity, Lovehate, M/M, Makeup Sex, Married Couple, Married Life, Mostly Hate, Smut, Some Fluff, Young Lovers, domestic husbands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22092232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: Sehun and Kai had been sweethearts since they were 17. When they turned 19, they eloped and got married without their parents' blessings. Now, six years later, they want nothing but to get away from each other. While one of them is off having an affair, the other is doing everything in his power to spite his better half. Kai is ready to move on, and so is Sehun. But will they be able to? Or does true love really last forever?
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 272
Kudos: 1135





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Read tags! There is infidelity involved (but not really?). There are lots of anger and hatred involved in this marriage. It's a fairly short fic. And thank you if you leave kudos/comments! <3

True love lasts forever. The pithy aphorism, in hindsight, requires some serious revisioning. _Nothing_ lasts forever. Now, that is an adage most can get behind. Happily-ever-after is a concept children and overgrown fools believed in. Those fools, clearly, have never been married.

Does anyone know what happened to _Snow White_ after her Prince Charming had whisked her away to a faraway castle to live their so-called happily-ever-after? No. The story ends there. People find each other, fall in love, overcome obstacles together, and reach their cathartic happily-ever-after. This is the general chain of events one is to likely meet in stories. Because no one would want to portray the dullness the narrative that comes after.

Marriage. The joining of two hearts and souls. A sacred institution that binds two people together and fortifies the love between them. Another diegesis so popular that it is overromanticized and insipid to the taste. Coming from another standpoint, marriage is a crime.

True love, happily-ever-after, marriage. Sehun had believed in all of them religiously once. In fact, he had desired them for the longest time. Since he was a child even. But like all, he had been naïve.

A heart that was once full of hope, love and dream, is now full of spite and bitterness.

The house is too big for two, he thinks to himself as he vacantly gazes out the window of his bedroom like any other day. The 16-year-old gardener is mowing the lawn, which—thanks to him—is always green and well-kempt. Sehun spends quite a bit of time in that garden, often with a book or his laptop in his hands. It is where he gets his best ideas for his novels.

So close to the city, he can hear the morning commotion when he opens the window. He often wishes that he lived somewhere in the suburbs just so that he could escape the city air.

With a deep sigh, he pulls away from the window and checks himself one last time in the mirror. There is absolutely no one in the house he has to impress, but he likes looking neat and decent throughout the day.

He is wearing a simple white knitted sweater and a pair of blue jeans today. His husband has a thing for sweatpants, but Sehun despises them. They are unseemly and too ugly for casualwear.

As he makes his way out of the bedroom, he is faced with the huge portrait in the hallway, which never fails to turn his mood sour every single time. He would have had it relocated—say to the garage or perhaps even the dumpster—but he hasn’t for the reason that it might have provoked a conversation. He does not need that conversation.

They make do with two servants in the house. One of them manages the cooking and the kitchen, the other mainly takes care of the dusting and the mopping. There isn’t much else to do here, except maybe fetch the mail every day. They both leave sharp at six o’clock in the evening, unless they are asked to stick around. For extra pay, of course.

The house is quieter, especially, during the night.

Usually, it is just Sehun himself.

As he descends the stairs, he finds Mrs. Han dusting the railing. She ignores him. He ignores her, too. Everything is always in order around the house. Whenever Sehun makes a mess, it gets cleaned up within seconds.

He finds his husband at the dining table, as he always does in the morning. Kai has his phone in one hand and a fork in the other. His plate is almost empty.

Sehun takes his seat on the opposite end of the table and pours himself some cranberry juice from the jug. He looks to the TV in the dining area as he fixes himself a plate of scrambled eggs and toasts.

Kai does not look up from his phone. He never does. Sehun does not mind. They both have finally gotten used to being in the same room without minding one another. In fact, they have gotten so good at ignoring each other that it is as though the other is completely invisible.

But today, Kai puts his phone down and takes a sip of the juice while looking at Sehun. “The lawyer called this morning,” he says casually.

Sehun arches an eyebrow at him. “Yours or mine?”

“Mine,” says Kai. “We need to fix a meeting to go over the property distribution.”

Sehun nods dully as he stuffs some eggs into his mouth. It lacks salt, so he adds some. Kai likes his food bland. Even after six years of living together, Sehun has not gotten used to the way Kai eats his food.

“I’ll call my lawyer, then,” mutters Sehun.

And that’s it. The conversation ends.

Kai rises from the table and adjusts his necktie. Sehun does not usually care about what Kai is wearing, but today, he is wearing a navy-blue shirt Sehun had given him for their second anniversary.

He must have stared it for too long because Kai is looking at him again. Sehun averts his gaze back to the TV. The bastard probably did not remember anything about their second anniversary.

Sehun tries not to linger on past memories, too. Especially the good ones. Whenever one of them pushes through, he quickly shuts himself down. They are too far gone. There is no going back.

Kai leaves for work, like he always does, even during the weekends. He’d do anything to get away from Sehun.

And Sehun would do anything to keep it that way.

To think that they had once been so madly in love that they would go to the very end of the world to be with each other… It really does feel like another lifetime.

* * *

He had not realized it when he was getting dressed for work earlier. Not until he saw Sehun staring did he notice the fact that he is wearing the shirt Sehun had gifted him for their anniversary. The second one. The one where they had made love in the kitchen in the middle of the day.

Kai shakes his head as he sits idly in the car. He should go back in and change shirts. But he is already late for work. So, he starts the car and pulls it out of the driveway. The gardener boy waves at him. Kai waves back, smiling.

He’d sell the house, he thinks as he drives away. There is no point keeping it. He might downsize to a condo near the office. Unless Sehun wants to continue living in it, though Kai doubts that Sehun could afford it.

When he reaches his office, he sits at his desk and stares aimlessly at his wedding band for a long moment. He still remembers the day they had eloped together to the courthouse to get married behind their parents’ backs. On that day, nothing else mattered. It was just them in their own little world where no one was allowed. They had been young, dewy-eyed, and so very in love.

Kai remembers the way he had cupped Sehun’s face in his hands and kissed him for the first time. And he remembers the last time he had kissed Sehun, too. It was right before Sehun had shoved him back and slapped him across the face.

He wants to take the ring off. And toss it into the trash.

But before he could get to it, the office door opens and the intern walks in, sporting her glasses, her tight skirt, and a blouse that puts her cleavage on a fantastic display.

She smirks at Kai the same way she has been smirking since the first day she joined. “Good morning, Mr. Kim,” she says in that sultry tone of hers that instantly brightens Kai’s day.

“Indeed, it is, Lia,” Kai replies, leaning back in his seat. “What can I do for you?”

She makes her way over to the desk and leans over it. She has her hair up in a ponytail today. It’s pretty. “You know exactly what you can do for me, Mr. Kim.”

Kai scoffs. “It’s office hours, Miss Rahm.”

“It hadn’t stopped us before.” She takes hold of Kai’s necktie and pulls him forward. “My apartment. Tonight?”

Kai sighs. “Of course.”

“You know,” she says, straightening up again. “You should just move in with me since you spend almost all of your nights at my place, anyway.”

“I would. But I do not want to impose.”

“Oh, please. You know that if it were up to me, I’d keep you there forever.”

Kai lets out another sigh. “It won’t be long now. Once I’m divorced, I promise you, it’s going to be simpler.”

Alia crosses her arms over her chest. She shakes her head next. “He doesn’t even care if you’re there.”

That is not a lie. Sehun knows about the affair, too. And the only thing he had bothered to say to Kai about it was, _“Just don’t bring her home.”_

They have moved on. They might still be legally married, but they have nothing else left between them.


	2. Chapter 2

The gardener boy is leering again. Sehun ignores him, like he always does. He has mastered the art of ignoring everyone at this house.

“What’re you reading over there, Mr. Sehun?” the boy asks as Sehun flips a page of the book he is reading from where he is lounged on the garden bench with his legs crossed. He continues to ignore the boy. “You look extra smashing today, Mr. Sehun.”

Sehun resists the urge to roll his eyes and keeps them on the page of the book. The boy slowly moves to prune the lemon tree near the bench Sehun is sitting on.

“Did you do something new with your hair?”

Sehun says nothing.

“Why are you not talking to me, Mr. Sehun?”

Huffing heavily then, Sehun rises from his seat and starts for the house. On his way, he smacks the gardener boy’s head with the book and says, “Because you’re sixteen.”

“But I’ll grow up, though.” He frowns

“Boys never grow up,” Sehun spits as he walks away. “And if I wanted a cocky, immature man-child who’s as dull as ditchwater and can’t even trim my rosebushes right, I’d stay married to my husband.”

He hears the boy sigh heavily behind him. It isn’t true, though. Kai used to be anything but immature and dull. Cocky he definitely was, and it was part of his charm. And God, his charm had been the first thing Sehun had fallen for.

As he makes his way up the stairs, he picks his phone and reads a message from his editor before ringing his lawyer. Divorces are messier than he thought they would be. If he had known how messy it was going to be, he would have just run away in the middle of the night after robbing Kai blind and burning all of his favourite things.

But this way, he will get to leave Kai with quite a bit of things to his name. Half of everything that Kai has. That seems like a fair deal since the bastard had wasted six years of Sehun’s life. Eight if you count the two years they had been dating.

The lawyer does not answer the call, so Sehun leaves him a voicemail as he reaches the top of the stairs. His eyes immediately dart over to the portrait. He wonders why Kai has not done anything to take the damn thing down. Perhaps he wants to avoid a confrontation, too. But that’s insane. Sehun would never miss that thing. In fact, it is the first thing he would burn if were to burn something in the house. And he wants to burn most of the things in the house.

There is so much resentment within him. Mostly because he feels cheated. Not because Kai is actually off having an affair with a woman at his workplace, but because Sehun had let himself to believe that he and Kai would be together forever. That they would be in love for the rest of their lives. And he feels incredibly cheated.

It isn’t Kai’s fault, though. Not entirely. It isn’t Sehun’s fault either. It was a series of events that piled up on one another, resulting in so much pent-up hostility toward each other.

Sometimes, people just fall out of love.

* * *

Kai is late tonight. Sehun retires to his bedroom, one that he does not share with Kai, after dinner. Like he always does. He is surprised to hear Kai’s car pull up in the driveway. He turns off the TV and climbs out of the bed to peer out the window.

He watches Kai exit his car and lean on it. The man stays that way for a long moment, head hung, eyes closed. Sehun arches an eyebrow. “What does he look so miserable for?” he asks to himself, smirking sinisterly. Did his office babe break up with him? Not that it mattered to Sehun, anyway. But he does take a tiny of pleasure in Kai’s misery every now and then. Especially when he is bored.

He returns to the bed after leaving the bedroom door open when he sees Kai pull away from the car and walk into the house. Turning on the TV again, he waits for Kai to walk by the room. He never goes looking for Kai when there is something that needs to be discussed. He always waits until Kai comes to him.

Eventually, he hears Kai’s heavy footfalls on the staircase. As he walks past the bedroom, Sehun clicks his tongue, calling after him as though he were trying to get the attention of a cat.

Kai stops, like he always does, and sighs heavily before he turns around and drags his feet over to the door. He never crosses the threshold. He is not allowed in Sehun’s bedroom.

Leaning tiredly against the doorframe, he asks, “What is it?”

He sounds exhausted. The top buttons of his shirt are undone, and his necktie is gone. There are dark circles beneath his eyes. “I contacted my lawyer today,” Sehun says, keeping his eyes on the TV, back against the headboard. This is one of his threatful postures. He has a bunch of them just to show Kai that he gives absolutely no fucks.

“Good,” Kai mutters. Sehun looks at him then, scowling. His hair is so messy that Sehun is overcome by the sudden urge to run his hands through it. It would probably mess it up even more, though. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. I don’t want that stupid portrait in the hallway in the property distribution.” He half rolls his eyes and returns his attention to the TV. Meanwhile, Kai glances back at the portrait, and his gaze lingers there for a moment too long, as if he has not noticed it all the times he has walked past it.

“Fine,” he says at length, looking back to Sehun. “We’ll just get rid of it.”

Sehun looks at him again, this time with a softer glare. “Fine,” he murmurs and purses his lips.

As Kai starts to turn around, Sehun clears his throat. He stops and arches a brow. “What now?” he asks, sighing. “I’m very tired, Sehun. I’d like to take a bath and hit the bed.”

“I don’t care what you want,” Sehun grumbles and scrambles out of the bed. Stomping over to Kai, he faces his husband with a hard scowl. Funny how his brain still refers to the bastard as his husband. For a long time in the past, his brain refused to refer to Kai as anything but his boyfriend. Even a year after marriage. So, it might probably take a while before his brain would get used to ‘ex-husband’ or ‘son of a bitch’.

“Knew I should not have fucking come home tonight,” Kai mutters through his grit teeth, his jaw clenched, his expression increasingly growing annoyed.

“I didn’t ask you to,” Sehun spits and brings a hand to Kai’s chest to shove him back so that he is not standing in the doorway anymore. “You can go sleep at your girlfriend’s house for all that I care.”

“This is my house, too,” Kai argues. Weakly. He really is tired. Something must be up at his work.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Sehun slams the door and stays put for a moment, huffing and puffing furiously. He prises the door open again, with more force than necessary, and stomps out of the room. Kai is already walking towards his bedroom, but he halts in the hallway when he sees Sehun marching towards the portrait of them holding each other. It was taken on the day they had gotten married. They were so young in the photograph. So young, so in love, and so very foolish.

“What are you doing?” Kai asks as Sehun picks the portrait from the wall.

“Shit, it’s heavy,” he grunts, stumbling back a few steps. Then scowling at Kai, he teeters over to the stairwell, hugging the portrait in his arms.

“Sehun,” Kai sighs. “Can you, for once, give me a goddamn break?”

“Mind your business!” Sehun hesitates for a moment when he reaches the stairs. The portrait has been there since the first day they moved here. _No._ What’s the goddamn point of a portrait when the entire marriage is shattered to pieces?!

He hurls the portrait down the stairs. It makes a loud noise that deafens Sehun momentarily as the glass framing the portrait shatters against the staircase.

“There,” he exhales, turning around to face Kai. “I got rid of it for you.”

Kai is glaring at him now, his hands balled into fists at his sides. Why does he look so upset about it? “You know what?” he says eventually, his teeth still gnashed together. “Good. Night.”

With that, he walks away. He does not even slam the door as he enters his bedroom. Sehun leans back on the banister for a moment, looking forlornly at the broken portrait. No, he is not going to mope over it. He does not even wear his wedding band anymore. He has not for months. He is not sure why Kai still wears it, though. It’s annoying.

* * *

They were seventeen when they first met. It was completely by chance on a very rainy day. Kai remembers having just broken up with his girlfriend. He’s only ever had girlfriends before. He identifies himself as bisexual now, but he had never even considered it until he had bumped into Sehun that fateful day.

They dated for two years, but it had felt like an eternity at the time. They knew each other better than they knew themselves. Kai’s father did not approve of their relationship, and neither did Sehun’s parents. Kai’s father was a raging bigoted jackass, and Sehun’s parents had more solid reasons for disapproving their relationship. They had told Sehun that they were too young to know for certain that they were good for each other. When they told them they were, it only alarmed them more.

In the end, Sehun and Kai had been happy to just elope and get married in a small courthouse. It was Kai’s mother who had set him up with the house and the job at her company. She likes Sehun. And Sehun adores her dearly. She does not know about their impending divorce.

Having grown up in a broken home, Kai never had much faith in marriages and true love. But not long after he met Sehun, he knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with this boy. He was beautiful, gentle, soft, funny, kind, clever. He had made Kai feel all the things he never thought he could feel.

Sehun was the one, he thought. Not even the universe could tell him otherwise. That was how much he had once loved Sehun. And he truly believed that Sehun loved him back just as much, if not more.

He does not recognize the monster his sweet, soft lover has become. And he most certainly does not recognize the apathetic man he is now looking in the mirror of his bathroom. He takes in a few deep breaths, hands planted on the sink counter as he leans over it.

Water rivulets drip from his freshly washed hair and trickle down his back.

There is one ultimate truth. No one has made him feel the way Sehun has and no one will.

He shaves, like he usually does most mornings, and replaces the towel with a pair of boxers. Then he walks around the bedroom for a moment, drawing the curtains open to the let the morning sunlight pour in. He runs a hand through his damp hair and sits back on the edge of his bed.

There is a knock on the door. “Mr. Kim,” the maid calls. “May I come in?”

“Yes,” he says, even though he is not dressed. He does not care.

Mrs. Han keeps her head low as she enters with a piece of paper in her hands. “Mr. Oh has asked me to give you this.”

Kai cocks a brow. “Put it over there.”

She places it on the dresser and leaves. Rising from the bed, Kai picks the paper up and reads the print on it. **_THINGS I WANT_** _._

The header is followed by a list of items in the house. Kai grits his teeth.

He pulls on a white T-shirt over the boxers and hurries out of the room. Stopping by Sehun’s, he raps on the door.

“What?” Sehun answers the door dully.

Kai holds the paper up. “You want the Porsche?”

“Yeah.” He sounds so nonchalant about it.

“I bought and paid for it, Sehun,” Kai spits, brows furrowing.

Sehun shrugs. “So?”

“You also want all the china. _And_ the marble fountain. Where will you even keep it in your dingy one-room apartment when we’re divorced?”

That irks Sehun immediately. “It’s either that or I’m fighting for alimony for the rest of your life, Kim Kai.”

“ _My_ life?”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you think I’d die before you?” Kai scoffs.

“Because I know how to stab,” Sehun replies, crossing his arms over his chest. Kai stops and stares at him furiously for a moment.

“Fine,” Kai says at last. “Take whatever you want.”

That surprises Sehun. His expression shifts from nonchalance to mild shock. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Kai hurls the paper back at Sehun and walks away. “If it’ll mean I get to get away from you sooner.”

* * *

That hurts. A little.

Sehun closes the door and picks the paper up from the floor. He sighs. He does not really want or need any of the things on the list. There was once a time where he believed that he’d only ever need Kai. But now, Sehun feels as though Kai should recompensate everything that he has cost him. His heart, his happiness, his dreams, his hopes. Again, it isn’t entirely Kai’s fault, but Sehun still feels cheated. He needs someone to blame, and he chooses Kai. The same way Kai chooses to resent and blame Sehun for his unhappiness.


	3. Chapter 3

As it turns out, anger, resentment, heartbreak, the urge to kill your husband as he sleeps at night are _great_ motivators for writing.

Sehun only pulls away from the laptop he has been typing away on for hours when the clock strikes eleven. He has not even realized that it had gotten dark outside and inside his room.

Cracking his knuckles, he stretches his arms over his head and smiles at the page he’s just finished writing. The chapter turned out great, he thinks to himself. Every time he has a block, he just taps into all the frustration he has for his husband of six years and creativity just flows through his fingertips endlessly.

Now, he is not a _very_ successful author. His books sell from time to time, but he is not exactly _Jane Austen_. But he continues to write because it is what he loves doing the most. He is never lonely when he is writing. The world just slips away when he is looking at a blank page, eager to fill it with words. While this passion of his could supply him with a living, it is not enough to afford the expensive lifestyle Kai has provided him with for years now. Sehun will have to get another job and set writing aside for a mere hobby when he separates from Kai.

He should have moved out a long time ago. It has been nearly a year since that fateful night, which broke them apart for good. But the breakup had been coming long before that. Sehun has not had much luck with apartment-hunting. He does have some savings, but it would barely be covering the down payment. And he most certainly does not want to ask for Kai’s help. Once they are divorced, they will cut all remaining ties between them. It is the right thing to do. Sehun does not want to owe Kai anything.

Rising from the desk he has been working on all day, he turns on the lamps on the nightstands and makes his way downstairs to grab something to eat. He has not eaten anything since breakfast.

He stops in the hallway and stares at the empty wall where the portrait used to be. He had thought that getting rid of the portrait would make him think less of it. But its absence is what makes Sehun think of it the most. It had not bothered him even when it was there.

He does not know what happened to the portrait he had tossed down the stairs. Mrs. Han probably cleaned it up.

Sehun has not seen Kai in days, but he sees Kai’s car parked in the driveway when he peeps out the living room window. He’s home.

He heads back upstairs after grabbing a tub of strawberry ice-cream, his favourite. Kai still stocks the house up with Sehun’s favourite foods. Habit, probably. Or he just gave Mr. Lim—their cook—a list. Either way, Sehun always finds everything that he wants to find where he wants to find it.

He perks his head to glance over at Kai’s bedroom when he reaches the top of the stairs. Kai has his door closed, and he is very quiet. He is probably doing some work stuff. Sehun tells himself that he does not care and proceeds into his own room.

Lounging on his bed next, he sticks the spoon into the ice-cream and turns the TV on. There is a horror movie on, one that he has not seen. He quickly changes channels. Even at the age of twenty-five, he is terrified to watch horror movies on his own. He had absolutely no trouble watching them with Kai when they were sleeping together in the same room, in the same bed. But ever since they broke up and moved into separate rooms, Sehun has not dared to watch a horror movie. It will keep him up at night.

He pauses and scowls at the TV. He is going to be alone for a while now, isn’t he? What if he is alone forever?

“What’s the plan? I’m not going to watch horror movies forever?” he scoffs to himself. There are so many things that he has gotten used to doing with Kai that doing them without him would seem weird. Is he never going to do any of them just because Kai is not there?

“I don’t need him,” he grumbles and flips the channel back to the one before. Scooping up a huge lump of ice-cream, he stuffs it into his mouth and stubbornly decides to watch the damn movie.

* * *

That… was… a… terrible… idea.

He is exhausted. He is sleepy. But he is afraid that if he closes his eyes, something scary might appear before him. It’s ridiculous! What sort of a grown man would be afraid of something called as stupid as _Babadook_?! Sehun is not sure he even understands anything that went on in the movie, but he is frightened.

He stays up until two o’clock, gnawing his lower lip to a bruise. He is tempted to check under the bed, but he doesn’t because that would be insane. Even the smallest noises make him jump with a start.

In the end, fear triumphs over pride.

He climbs out of the bed and hurries out of his room. He turns on the lights in the hallway before he practically jogs over to his husband’s room.

Stopping before the door, he hesitates to knock on the door. He never used to knock on any door before. Wherever Kai was, Sehun was there, too. Even thinking that they are now so separated from each other sounds surreal to Sehun.

Apart from that, what is he doing here? Isn’t the whole point of watching a horror movie on his own supposed to teach him how to survive without Kai? Besides, he does not think he has ever been dependent on Kai. He liked having Kai around, yes. But he would have done just fine without Kai, too. His survival never depended on Kai.

But _Babadook_ is a completely different matter. And he is waiting for Sehun in his room.

He knocks on Kai’s door.

There is no answer. He knocks again.

Kai opens the door, clad in nothing but his boxers, rubbing an eye on the hilt of his palm. “Sehun,” he says hoarsely as he runs a hand through his mussed hair, scowling. “What the hell are you doing here, waking me up at this hour?”

Sehun licks his lips. He does not want to seem pathetic. He cannot possibly ask Kai to let him sleep with him tonight just because he watched a scary movie. “Uh… Shouldn’t we go through the… uh… list of things that… we’re going to divide?”

Kai stares at him, eyebrows dipped low, eyes narrowed. He starts to close the door. Sehun stops him.

“Wait,” he rasps. Kai walks a hand down his toned chest and well-muscled abdomen. Sehun squints at Kai’s wedding ring and clears his throat. “Why don’t you wear your pyjamas when you sleep?”

“I’m hot.”

“It’s not that hot tonight.”

“Is there something that you want?” he asked annoyedly.

“Uh… Yes.”

“Can’t this wait until morning?”

“ _Babadook_ will be done with me by then,” Sehun mumbled under his breath.

“What?” Kai makes a face. He is losing his patience.

Sehun sighs. “I…”

Kai arches a brow.

Sehun sighs again, shoulders slumping. “Nothing. Just go back to sleep.” He turns around and starts for his room. “And dream about giant worms eating you.”

Kai groans and slams the door shut.

Sehun returns to his bed and hugs his knees to his chest. He is not sure why, but there is sudden tranquillity in his chest. He feels good. He feels safe. Kai is just down the hall. He is safe. Kai is safe.

Someday, Sehun will have to learn to survive without Kai, but tonight, he is still here. So, Sehun decides to lose the battle this time and fall asleep, telling himself that his husband is there for him tonight.

* * *

“What did you make for dinner?” Sehun asks Mr. Lim as he saunters into the kitchen.

“Salmon, Mr. Oh,” says the cook, taking his apron off. It is almost six. “It is in the oven. Just reheat it when you are ready to eat.”

Sehun nods, exhaling heavily. He always eats dinner alone. After a while, he has gotten used to it. He does not know why Kai rarely eats at home. It is not as if Sehun troubles him during meals. The most he does is ignore the bastard.

Employing a cook just for Sehun alone seems much and unnecessary. Besides, Sehun is perfectly capable of cooking for himself. But he is not going to tell Kai to fire Mr. Lim. Like hell he cares about how Kai wastes his money.

“Good night, Mr. Oh,” the cook says before he takes his leave.

Sehun scratches the back of his head and wends his way over to the refrigerator before retrieving an apple from it. As he leans back against the kitchen island and sinks a bite into the fruit, Kai struts into the kitchen, rolling the sleeves of shirt up.

He is all dressed up. A nice black shirt, hair neatly swept and gelled, a showy watch. His aftershave and cologne fill the air of the kitchen immediately, reminding Sehun that Kai still uses the cologne that Sehun likes on him. It is not a cologne Sehun uses himself—he prefers milder scents. But the musky, oceanic fragrance is just heavenly on Kai’s skin. It angers Sehun that the bastard is still sticking to the same cologne.

“Where are you going, looking so dapper?” he asks, munching on the apple bits as Kai grabs a glass and fills it with water.

“Got a date,” the man replies casually, back turned to Sehun.

Sehun shrugs and takes another bite of the apple as he starts walking out of the kitchen. “Have fun and choke on a lobster.”

“Ha-Ha.”

As much as Sehun doesn’t care, he really does want Kai to choke on a lobster.

He stops in his tracks when he hears the doorbell ring. Blinking confusedly, he wonders if Mr. Lim or Mrs. Han had forgotten something and has come back to get it. He walks over to the window and takes a peek.

He drops the apple as his jaw falls slack and heart almost falls out of his chest.

“Oh, fuck,” he gasps and pulls away from the window to run back to the kitchen.

“Hey,” Kai growls when Sehun bumps into him, catching Sehun’s waist as he walks out of the kitchen.

Sehun raises his hands to Kai’s chest, still gaping and panting. “My parents are here!”

Kai takes a step away and looks at the closed door. “So? Welcome them in and show them a good time. I’m late for my date.”

Sehun grabs Kai’s shirt collar then and scowls at him. “Listen to me, Kim Kai. I will make your life even more miserable than it is right now if you don’t help me!”

Kai yanks Sehun’s hands off his shirt and tilts his head to a side, cocking an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”

“They don’t know that our ship has hit the rocks and is sinking faster than freaking _Titanic_! And they shouldn’t know.”

Kai crosses his arms over his chest. “You cannot hide this from them forever, Sehun.”

“No. But I really do not need a face full of ‘I-Told-You-So’ right now.” His parents told him, not once but countless times, that this relationship would not work out and that Kai was not the one for him. The last thing Sehun wants right now is for them to be proven right and to rub it in his face pretty good.

“Sehun, I’m going,” Kai says. “I can take the backdoor if you want.”

“No!” Sehun screams. “They’ll ask for you.”

“Tell them I’m dead.”

“Oh, I wish,” Sehun spits, rolling his eyes. Kai makes a face at him. “Oh, come on! I’ve done all sorts of crazy things for you. Do this for me!”

“What sort of crazy things have you done for me?” Kai snorts.

The doorbell rings again.

“Do you remember the telephone booth near the little Chinese place we loved going to?” Sehun hisses at him. “Remember what _nice things_ I did for you in there, Mr. Horny Pants?!”

Kai glowers at him disapprovingly. “Look. I’m not doing you this favour. Lia’s waiting for me.”

Sehun groans, grabbing Kai’s arms before he could walk away. “All right.” He huffs. “How about this? You play along and do me this favour, and I… I… I will leave you the Porsche in the settlement.”

That stops Kai. “Really?” he asks, smirking.

“Yes. Really.”

Kai lets out a loud breath and nods his head. “All right,” he says, hooking an arm around Sehun’s waist. “Let’s open the door then, baby.”

Sehun grimaces, but he lets Kai usher him to the front door.

His parents gush in as soon as Sehun opens the door. “Sehun!” his mother screeches, throwing her arms around her disgruntled son before she promptly turns to her son-in-law, who welcomes her with a really convincing smile.

“Mom,” Kai says. He’s been calling Sehun’s mother ‘ _Mom’_ for years that it will sound weird not to. “Dad.” He then turns to greet Sehun’s father.

“How have you been, son?” Sehun’s father asks Kai.

“Mom, Dad,” Sehun calls, frowning. “What are you two doing here unannounced?”

“Do we have to call to visit you even on weekends?” asks his father.

“Besides, you never call us anymore,” says his mother. Sehun scowls at them both.

Kai, on the other hand, grins pleasantly at them. “We’ve just been… a little busy lately,” he says, curling his arm back around Sehun’s waist. “Come on in.”

As Sehun’s parents amble toward the living room, Kai closes the door. Sehun pulls away from Kai and shoves his arm off. “Keep your goddamn hands to yourself!” he hisses at Kai quietly.

Kai shakes his head, rolling his eyes with a smirk as he follows after Sehun.


	4. Chapter 4

“So, what are you doing here?” Sehun asks, folding his arms as he watches his parents take their seats on the couch.

“We were just in the neighbourhood,” says his mother, fishing a box of cookies out of her purse. “We got you your favourite cookies, Kai.”

“Oh,” Kai lets out as he takes the tin of cookies. “That is so nice of you, Mom. I’ll get you both something to drink.”

As he disappears into the kitchen, Sehun perches on the armrest and sighs deeply. “You get him cookies and me nothing?” he asks his parents.

“You two must be _very_ busy,” says his father. “You don’t call. You don’t visit. Your mother and I were worried that you had died.”

Sehun makes a face at his father. “Really, Dad? And you waited seven weeks to come check if I’m dead?”

“That’s enough,” says his mother, grabbing hold of Sehun’s hand. She is smiling that smile. She is about to ask Sehun something he is not going to like. “Have you heard about your cousin Kimi’s wedding?”

“Yeah,” says Sehun. “She sent me an invitation _and_ called last week.”

“You are going, aren’t you?” asks his father.

“Maybe,” Sehun mutters. “I haven’t decided yet.”

His mother and father exchange a glance. “What do you mean you haven’t decided?” says his mother. “The whole family is going to be there.”

“Mom,” he groans.

“You have to be there, Sehun,” whines his mother. “You are going to be there.” There is some finality in her tone. “You are Kimi’s favourite cousin. And I’ve already told all your uncles and aunts that you’d be there. Even grandma and grandpa are going to be there. It will be weird if you don’t show up.”

Sehun chews at his lower lip. “Can you… give me a moment?” He rises to his feet and hurries into the kitchen, where he finds Kai pouring the coffee from the coffeepot into a couple of mugs. “Hey!” he hisses, rushing to Kai’s side. Kai cocks an eyebrow at him. “My parents are about to invite you to my cousin’s wedding. They will insist that we both go.”

Kai sets the coffeepot down and sighs, facing Sehun. “And?”

“And you have to say no. You’re not going.” Sehun glanced back toward the living room before turning to Kai again. “Say that you have a business trip or something.”

“Hmm,” Kai hums. “Fine.”

“Good.” He picks the mugs up and returns to the living room. “I’d love to go, Mom,” he says. “But it’ll just feel weird showing up there without my husband. And I’m not sure Kai can make it. You know, he’s always so busy with work.”

“Oh,” his mother lets out, frowning. When Kai walks into the living room again, she turns to him, smiling. “Kai. Are you not going to be attending Kimi’s wedding? She will be very disappointed if you’re not there.”

Kai slides his hands into the pockets of his jeans and looks for his phone. “When is the wedding, Mom?” he asks.

Sehun is trying to stifle his grin, shrugging at his parents.

“The wedding is on the 10th next month. But we will be at Santana Resort all week. She and her fiancé have a lot of events planned prior to their wedding day,” says Sehun’s father.

“I see. I’m not sure I’ll be able to get off work. My schedule is always packed,” Kai says, faking a frown as he scrolls through his schedule on his phone. Then a small smirk creeps up on his lips. “Ah. Boy, am I lucky?”

He looks up at Sehun’s parents and then at Sehun.

“I don’t have anything important planned for that week,” he announces, grinning. “I’ll be there.”

Sehun’s face wilts, mouth falling open. He gapes at his husband as though cat has gotten his tongue.

“That settles it then!” Sehun’s mother exclaims.

Sehun does not stop gawking at Kai in disbelief. Kai, on the other hand, goes on pretending like he is happy about being able to make it to Sehun’s cousin’s wedding.

“You should stay for dinner,” Kai offers. “The cook just took off, but we can order something in.”

“That is mighty nice of you, Kai.”

Sehun clenches his fists, hoping that he will get a chance to kill Kai as soon as his parents are gone.

* * *

Alia sounds frustrated when she answers the phone. “Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t make it today,” Kai says, pacing the floor of the hallway. He realizes that his apology does not sound so sincere but does nothing to rectify it. “Something urgent has come up.”

“Really, Kai?” she huffs on the other end of the line. “What’s the emergency?”

Kai sighs. “Sehun’s parents are here.”

Alia is quiet for a moment. “So, you’re spending the Saturday evening with him and his family after making plans with _me_?”

“It’s just a favour, Lia.”

She hangs up without saying anything more. In the two months that they have been seeing each other, Kai has learned very little about Alia. Of course, he knows her age, her full name, and the fact that she is physically very attractive. But he has not made much of an effort to get to know _her._ It just seems pointless and exhausting. A useless effort. If even the relationship he had with Sehun could go up in flames, he is certain that no relationship of his will ever last.

They both are already trying to move on. But moving on for good will require for them to leave behind the bitterness they have for the fact that they feel cheated. They had both believed, religiously, that they were each other’s forever. That is what marriage is all about, right? Kai never even believed in marriages until he met Sehun. Now that Sehun is leaving him, he is withdrawing to his faithlessness towards true love and marriage.

He lets out a heavy breath and wends back into the dining room, where Sehun and his parents are engaged in a discussion about what to wear to Kimi’s wedding. Sehun has not stopped scowling at Kai. Every time he looks at him, he makes a murderous face.

“Will you excuse me?” Sehun tells his parents and rises from the dining table. Before Kai could return to his seat, Sehun grabs him by the arm and quietly hisses, “Mind helping me with loading the dishwasher for a moment?”

“Sure, love,” Kai mutters tiredly and follows Sehun out of the room.

Sehun then shoves him into the bathroom at the end of the hallway and slams the door shut behind him. “Are you for real?” he spits, glowering viciously at Kai. It is a face Kai has gotten used to seeing in the past year. “We are not going to the wedding!”

“You’re being rude to your parents,” Kai says calmly and tries to get past Sehun to get out of the bathroom. Sehun shoves back against the sink and grabs his shirt.

“I could kick you, Kim Kai,” he growls threateningly.

Kai is reminded of all the times he’s had Sehun hoisted up on this very sink counter, kissing the living daylights out of him. “Should have just gone on my date, huh?”

Sehun releases his shirt and pulls back. “What is your plan? Do you really want to go to the wedding and pretend like we’re some happy couple?”

“You can just tell your parents now that we’re breaking up and be done with it,” Kai replies with nonchalance accompanied by a shrug.

Sehun presses his lips into a thin line, glaring at Kai like he wants to punch Kai’s teeth in. Then without saying anything more, he storms out of the bathroom.

They return to the dining table and see Sehun’s parents’ worried expressions. Kai smiles at them reassuringly and asks them if the food is all right. Sehun’s mother nods her head and smiles back.

He isn’t sure why he said that he is going to Kimi’s wedding. Kai adores her, yes. They have always been on great terms. But with the divorce, it makes no sense to stay in touch with anyone that would remind Kai of Sehun. However, the idea of spending a week at a resort with Sehun, annoying Sehun, getting even with Sehun for all the shit he has thrown in his way, intrigued Kai.

Or he just fucking misses spending time with Sehun.

But he’ll be darned if he admits it.

After nearly eight years of doing everything together, separating from Sehun, his best friend, his lover, his husband has thrown Kai for a loop. It is as though his entire world has gone upside down, and he doesn’t know what the rules are anymore. He wakes up every morning in a strange daze that does not go away. Everything feels surreal. It’s hard to focus. It’s hard to accept days as they are. His hand constantly itches to pick up the phone and send Sehun his hourly messages. His body longs to go back to the house they had turned into a home after work. When he sees a good book he knows Sehun will like, his impulse urges him to get it. His life has become a bitter pill to swallow.

Sure, he might have fallen out of love. But adjusting to the life he has right now, after spending the past eight years coddled by Sehun, is proving to be more difficult than one would think.

His therapist says that it is normal to feel that way when breaking a routine. And that it would take some time for Kai to adjust to his new life. But he will get there eventually. It’s probably true.

Caring for Sehun has been Kai’s routine and now that he cannot do that anymore, he does not know what to do. There is not much else that he cares about, truth be told. There’s work, then there’s Sehun.

He wonders if Sehun has the same problem. Does he still need Kai even if he doesn’t love him anymore?

* * *

“Sehun,” his mother calls as she slides towards him. Sehun keeps his eyes on the plates he is stacking in the cupboards. “We’re leaving.”

“One second,” Sehun mutters. “I’ll see you off.”

His mother waits with a strange look on her face. She sidles next to Sehun and puts a hand on his back. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but are you all right?”

Sehun pauses and stares vacantly at the plates for a moment. All of a sudden, a misery like no other bubbles up in his chest and threatens to burst out. He bites back on a sob and faces his mother.

“Yeah, why?” he says, hoping that his mother does not notice the tremor in his voice.

“It’s just that,” says his mother gently. “you seem a bit off, darling. You weren’t so chirpy today. And you have been quite moody. Did we really come at a bad time?”

Sehun exhales heavily and closes the cupboard. “No. I’ve just been stressed out about a book I can’t finish. And my editor is breathing down my neck. Sorry if I’ve been rude, Mom.”

“No, no,” she says, smiling as she strokes a side of Sehun’s face. “You and Kai are okay, then?”

Sehun blinks. “Me and Kai?”

“Yes. You used to run around not wanting to leave each other’s side even for a minute. I know your father and I weren’t so happy about you eloping, but we’ve always wanted you to be happy, Sehun. And you were. I could just see it in your eyes when you’re around your husband. Whenever Kai entered the room, you lit up like a Christmas tree, and he did the same with you.”

Sehun feels a terrible ache in his heart then. He has never heard anyone, looking from the outside, describe to him what his love for Kai was like.

It sounds beautiful. God, whatever the hell happened to it…

“But tonight,” his mother continued. “I just… I’m sure you two are all right, but… you can always talk to me if there’s something.”

Sehun bites his lip and swallows hard. “We’re fine, Mom,” he says. “We’re not newlyweds anymore. Romance fizzles out a little after a while, doesn’t it? We’re fine.”

His mother smiles faintly and nods her head. “All right, then. I will see you next month.”

She kisses his cheek before he follows her out of the kitchen.

Later, as he makes his way up the stairs, he worries his lip once more, thinking about an excuse to give for not showing up at his cousin’s wedding. There is no way in hell that he is spending an entire week with Kai at an intimate resort with his family around.

If Kai is doing this to punish him, then Sehun needs to get proactive.

He gives Kai’s door a knock, even though it is open. Kai walks out of the bathroom, still unbuttoning his shirt.

“Is your girlfriend mad about you skipping on your date?” asks Sehun, entering the room. Kai does not mind him.

“I think,” he replies, peeling the shirt off and tossing it into the laundry hamper.

“Well, I guess I’m sorry about that,” Sehun mutters, taking a seat on the edge of Kai’s bed. He stares at the bed for a moment, recalling the days he used to share it with Kai. The room used to be theirs before Sehun moved into the guest bedroom.

Kai turns around and faces him, shirtless, and unfastens the buckle of his belt. Sehun tries not to ogle the bastard, but hell, it is difficult. It is not anything Sehun hasn’t seen before, but it has been a long time since he’s had any sex, so…

He shakes the thought away and looks up at his husband’s face instead. Kai rips the belt out of the loops and tosses it aside, too.

“We’re not going to the wedding,” Sehun says, clearing his throat.

Kai does not say anything as he walks into the closet before returning with a T-shirt. He gets rid of his pants next, stripping down to his tight boxers. “I am,” he says.

Sehun scowls. “Stop being a jerk, Kai.”

“I’m not,” he says. “I like Kimi and I’m going to be there to congratulate her.”

Sehun stands up from the bed. “You can’t just show up without me.”

“Then go with me.”

Sehun stops to stare at the other man. “What? That’s not going to happen.”

Kai closes the distance between them, still wearing nothing but his underwear. “Why?” he asks, arching his brows. “You don’t think you’re going to fall back in love with me if you stayed at a hotel with me for a week, do you?”

Sehun wants to throw something at his head. “Quite the contrary, actually,” he spits. “I just don’t want to be the cause of your tragic death that could hinder my cousin’s wedding.”

Kai scoffs. “Let me assure you, Sehun,” he says, stepping even closer. Sehun does not retreat because he does not want to let Kai think that he is nervous. “If you did actually kill me, I’d consider it mercy.”

Sehun blinks, falling completely silent as his gaze bores into Kai’s for a long while. Kai’s expression is stoic, unreadable. Gulping, Sehun then shoves past his husband and hurtles toward the door. “Asshole,” he hisses under his breath as he stomps away.


	5. Chapter 5

There is someone at the door. Sehun weakly cracks an eye open and considers shooing whoever that is at the door away. But he is unable to find his voice.

“Mr. Oh?” he hears Mrs. Lim call from the other side of his bedroom door. “Are you in there?”

Sehun pulls the duvet tighter around his quaking body. “Hmm,” he tries mumbling. He isn’t sure if it is day or night, but the room is dark, and the curtains are drawn close. He thinks that it is sometime in the evening, but what is Mrs. Han still doing here, then?

“May I come in?” she asks. Sehun does not answer. He doesn’t feel like it.

She quietly opens the door and steps inside. For a couple of minutes, she surveys the state Sehun is in. She grimaces at the crumpled tissues that are strewn all over the bed and the floor.

“I feel terrible, Mrs. Han,” Sehun croaks out. His voice sounds awful. His nose is completely clogged, and his throat is in agony. Every part of his body feels like it is falling apart. He is worried that if he moved, his bones might just crumble. He does not even harbour the strength to move an inch in the first place.

“I was worried that something had happened to you since you didn’t come down to eat anything since yesterday,” says Mrs. Han, rushing to Sehun’s side. “Do you have a fever?”

Sehun thinks that he has everything right now, and that he is never going to feel any better. It is flu season, so he had sort of expected to get sick, but not _this_ sick. He has never been this sick. Or rather, truthfully, he has never felt this sick since he always had someone else taking care of him whenever he was under the weather.

“Have you gone to the hospital?” she asks.

Sehun shakes his head weakly. “I have… pills,” he mumbles, looking to the pills on the nightstand. But no matter how many of those he pops, he still feels like shit.

“Mr. Lim has already left,” says Mrs. Han. “But I can make you some porridge if you’d like, Mr. Oh.”

Sehun groans into the pillow. “No,” he whines. He does not feel like eating. He does not think he can stomach anything when in fact he has not eaten anything since yesterday morning. “You should go home.”

“But…”

“I just want to sleep,” he mutters and draws the duvet over his head.

Mrs. Han does not move. She continues to stare at Sehun with a pitiful frown. “Should I ring Mr. Kim and tell him that you’re not feeling well?”

Sehun yanks the duvet off his face to scowl at her. “No,” he says. His throat hurts too much to even whisper. “I don’t need him.”

With deeper frown, she bows her head. “Is there anything I can do?”

“Just go home, Mrs. Han. I can look after myself.”

She does not argue anymore, even though she looks like she wants to. Sehun never really thought that she cared. Not about him, at least. She leaves him be, closing the door behind her as she takes off.

Sehun continues to writhe in his bed just as a brain-numbing headache kicks in. He clasps a hand on a side of his head, trying to curb the pounding in his right temple. He is not sure if it’s due to the fever or the fact that he has not eaten anything all day. But it slowly worsens.

He does not know where Kai is or what he has been up to, but he has not come home in almost four days.

* * *

“Are you still mad?” Kai asks, pulling the car over in the parking lot. Alia lours at him for a moment before she sighs, looking down at the bouquet of red roses Kai got her as an apology for bailing on her last weekend. She has been ignoring him the past few days at work, too. It did not bother Kai all that much at first, but soon, he got bored.

“A little,” she says, unbuckling the seatbelt. Then she flashes a sultry smirk, one that Kai thinks looks good on her. “But I think I like you enough to forgive you this time.”

Kai smiles back. “That’s a relief.”

“But you have to promise me,” she says. “that one day, I will be your priority.”

“You already are,” Kai says. It sounds like a blatant lie, even to his own ears.

Grinning, she leans in and presses a kiss to his lips. “You’re coming in?”

Kai nods. He has been sleeping at the hotel for the past four days. It is nice to have someone warm in his bed once in a while. Well, technically, it will be Alia’s bed.

They make their way up to her apartment, not saying anything to each other. They have a lot of silent moments like this. Kai never knows what to talk to her about apart from work stuff.

It isn’t like this with Sehun. There has never been a dull conversation with Sehun. Even when they are arguing, they always have something to say. Most of the time, their conversations are meaningful. But there are also times when they can just sit there and talk about absolutely nothing useful and still have a good time.

Kai wonders if he will ever be able to have that again with someone else. Maybe it is wrong to want the same thing he had with Sehun. After all, Sehun isn’t one of Kai’s success stories, is he? In fact, Sehun is Kai’s greatest failure. One that is breaking him.

“Should I make dinner?” Lia asks as they enter the apartment.

Kai follows her into the kitchen where she retrieves a vase to put the flowers in. “Yeah. Sure.”

“How about broccoli soup?”

Kai blinks. “I don’t like broccoli.”

“Who doesn’t like broccoli? It’s healthy.”

Kai suddenly recalls the time Sehun had picked out the bits of broccoli from the pasta Kai had ordered. _“What are you doing?”_ Kai had asked.

 _“You don’t like broccoli,”_ Sehun says. _“I’ll eat them.”_

Kai had been a little dumbstruck. _“How did you know that? I don’t think I ever told you that.”_

Sehun had smiled at him. It was the cheekiest smile of all. And it was so beautiful. _“I observe you, Kai. And I learn.”_

There are just so many things that Sehun had learned about Kai by just observing. Not once had Kai ever had to tell him that he liked or disliked certain things. Sehun somehow just knew.

Same goes in the bedroom. Sehun just knows what Kai likes.

“You should try _my_ broccoli soup,” says Lia. “Maybe you’ll start liking broccoli then.”

She does not wait for Kai’s reply as she starts digging through the refrigerator for some broccoli. Sighing, Kai leans against the island and pulls out his phone when it rings.

His eyes widen at the caller ID. Why is Sehun calling him? He has not called Kai in months. Not even Kai did not go home for two weeks.

Kai hesitates to answer for a moment, wondering if he is going to get yelled at for something he has done. But he eventually decides to answer the call.

“Sehun?” he says when he hears no hello. Did Sehun dial him by mistake?

Alia has halted in her tracks and is now staring at Kai with an annoyed look on her face.

“Shit, nothing,” Sehun squeals out on the other end. His voice sounds dreadful and guttural, as though he is being choked. Then he hangs up.

Kai scratches the back of his neck, frowning confusedly. He tries calling Sehun back a couple of times, but Sehun does not answer. Worried, he then calls Mrs. Han, hoping that she has not left.

When she answers, he asks if she is still at the house and if she can check on Sehun if he’s home. She promptly tells him that he has been bedridden for the last two days and has come down with the flu.

“What’s up?” Lia asks as Kai glowers at his phone’s screen.

“I have to go home,” Kai tells her abruptly and starts for the door.

“What?” she rasps. “Kai, you said that you’re going to stay the night.”

“Yeah, but I have to check on Sehun.”

Alia crosses her arms over her chest. “Really?” she spits.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it,” Kai says. “I think he’s sick. I’m just going to take him to the hospital.”

“But why? He didn’t ask you to.”

“He isn’t going to because he’s a prideful, egoistic idiot.”

“Kai,” Lia grouses. “He cannot expect you to come and save him every time he blows his nose. You are not his husband anymore.”

Kai winces at that, brows furrowing. His feels his jaw tighten. “I still am, Lia,” he sighs. “But that doesn’t matter. I care about him.”

Alia huffs disapprovingly. “You just care about him as in you don’t want him to die, or as in… you’re still hoping that you’d get back together.”

“I don’t have time for this right now. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Kai says and storms out of the apartment before Lia could get another word in.

* * *

He does not knock as he enters Sehun’s room. He finds Sehun cocooned in his duvet on the bed, either fast asleep or unconscious.

“Sehun,” he calls, walking over to a side of the bed.

“Hmm,” Sehun moans roughly before he reaches for the tissue box and blows his nose. “I’m dying.”

“Jesus Christ,” Kai hisses. “Come on. Let’s get you to the hospital.”

Sehun slaps his hands away when he tries to pull the duvet away from him. “No! I’m fine,” he croaks and then cries. “Death is coming for me!”

“For god’s sake,” Kai grumbles, rubbing his forehead. “You’re such a baby!”

“You’re the baby!” Sehun shouts back at him with whatever strength he has. “Wait until you have demons eating you up from the inside while your body feels like it’s been set on fire.”

Kai has felt that way before, of course. But every time he was sick, had a fever, sprained his ankle, or dislocated a shoulder joint playing basketball, Sehun was always there for him on his foot, 24/7, nursing Kai back to health. He’d give Kai ‘Eskimo kisses’ that were reserved only for when Kai was not feeling well. God, Kai missed those.

Sehun looks up at him, his eyes droopy and bloodshot. He stares at Kai tiredly for a long moment. He looks like a mess. Apart from his nose, everything else is as pale as sheet. His hair is a bird’s nest. He is wearing an oversized sweater with some pyjama pants under the duvet. Kai still thinks he is as pretty as ever, though.

“I don’t want your help,” Sehun whimpers at length.

“Yeah, I know,” Kai lets out. “But you need it now. Think of it as a favour for all the times you have… looked after me when I was sick.”

“You’re the worst when you’re sick,” he mumbles with his clogged nose. “The biggest baby.”

“Yes, I am,” mutters Kai, slipping an arm under Sehun to curl it around his waist. He then pulls Sehun up to a sitting position.

“I have to pee,” Sehun says like he is about to break into tears.

“Come on, I’ll help.”

“I can go on my own.”

“Okay. I’ll call the doctor. You get ready.”

Sehun nods shakily and grabs onto Kai’s arm to pull himself up from the bed. “My head is throbbing like it’s about to explode.”

* * *

Later, when they return from the hospital, Kai hurries out of the car and rushes to Sehun’s side to help him. He can barely stand up. He is not only fatigued, but he has not eaten much in the last two days.

Sehun, surprisingly, does not push Kai away when the latter hooks an arm around his waist to help him walk. Perhaps he simply does not have the energy for it.

After settling Sehun down on the couch in the living room first, Kai takes a seat beside him and takes one of Sehun’s cold hands to rub it between his. Sehun allows that too, as he weakly slumps back against the couch.

“Do you want some bread?” Kai offers.

“And water,” Sehun whimpers.

Nodding, Kai rises from his seat to fetch Sehun a couple of slices of bread and a glass of water. “You need to eat before you can take the medicine.”

But Sehun looks like he just wants to conk out. As Kai sinks back down on the couch, Sehun leans his head onto Kai’s shoulder and takes a few heavy breaths through his mouth.

Kai frowns. “Do you want me to feed you?”

Sehun nods. Kai tears a slice of bread into bite-size hunks and dips them into the water so that it would be easier for Sehun to swallow. Sehun obediently eats from Kai’s hand and does little to chew.

“Enough,” he whines after only a few bites.

“No, you got to eat them all,” Kai insists.

“I hate you.”

“You can continue to hate me after you’ve eaten them all.” He force-feeds Sehun the rest of the water-soaked bread.

“I’m going to get you sick, too,” Sehun lets out, sounding guilty.

“Wouldn’t that make you happy, though?”

He is only kidding, but Sehun breaks into a sob all of a sudden, weeping against Kai’s shoulder, hiding his face in the crook of Kai’s neck. He is gasping like he is short of breath.

“Sehun,” Kai calls. “What’s wrong? Does your head still hurt?”

Sehun does not respond as he continues to sob. Kai places the glass on the coffee table before he turns and slides his arms around Sehun’s back and legs to lift him off the couch.

“Let’s get you to bed.”

Sehun grabs Kai’s shirt collar with one hand and buries his face in Kai’s chest, still weeping, as Kai bears him upstairs. “I don’t want you to get sick,” he confesses between his gasps.

“I thought you wanted me to die.”

That makes Sehun sob harder. “ _Nooooooo_!” he drawls.

Kai exhales heavily. Reaching Sehun’s room, he carefully lays Sehun down on the bed and pulls the duvet over him before he runs back down to fetch the medicines.

When he returns to the room, he finds Sehun wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater. “Here,” Kai says, handing Sehun the prescribed pills and a glass of water.

After taking the pills, Sehun lies back down and stares at the ceiling. “Thank you, Kai,” he whispers after a while once he is done crying.

Kai swallows hard. He does not know what to say. Then he sighs, “In sickness and in health, right?”

He leans down and lightly rubs the tip of his nose against Sehun’s, gently running his fingers through Sehun’s hair.

“Try to sleep and call for me if you need anything. I’m just down the hall. I’ll check on you later.” With that, he wends his way out of the room before he could do anything that Sehun will hate him more for later when his sobriety returns.


	6. Chapter 6

“Hey, cowboy,” Kai calls as he peers into the room the following morning. Sehun blows his nose and looks up at him tiredly with his back leaned against the headboard of the bed. “Feeling better?”

It has been a while since he’s called Sehun ‘cowboy’. It used to be one of his favourite nicknames for Sehun.

“Not really,” Sehun mumbles, lowering his gaze to the heaps of tissues he is covered in. He has a hard time thinking straight, especially when he recalls the events of last night. He does not know why Kai had come home in the first place to check on him. He had not only taken Sehun to the hospital, but he constantly kept an eye on him throughout the night. It isn’t anything out of the ordinary, but it just feels strange now that they are no longer together.

Though his throat and head do not hurt as much as they did the previous night, he still does not feel good enough to get out of bed.

Kai walks into the room. He is clad in a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. “What do you feel like eating for breakfast?”

“Death,” Sehun murmurs.

“Mr. Lim might have a hard time finding the ingredients for that in the pantry.”

Sehun rolls his eyes and groans, dropping his head back against the headboard. “Aren’t you going to work?” he then asks, frowning.

Kai sighs, sliding his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “No.”

Sehun wants to ask why, but he is not sure he wants to hear the answer. So, he keeps mum.

“How does asparagus soup and some toast sound?” asks Kai. “You like that.”

Sehun shrugs weakly. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t think I can taste anything.”

“You would have felt better by now if you had gone to the hospital sooner.”

“Do you really think nagging me while I’m sick is going to make me hate you any less?”

Heaving a sigh, Kai turns around and starts walking away.

Sehun feels a tug in his chest then. “Kai,” he calls. His husband stops and looks back at him. Moving the duvet aside, Sehun beckons Kai over to the bed.

Kai arches an eyebrow at him and hesitates for a moment. Then rubbing the back of his neck, he walks over to the side of the bed and takes a seat beside Sehun. “What is it?”

Sehun leans his head against Kai’s shoulder and lets out a heavy breath through his mouth. “I’m sorry for sounding ungrateful. I am thankful for… last night.”

Kai is silent for a stretch. “We never thanked each other for anything, Sehun. Especially not for taking care of each other.”

“But it’s different now,” Sehun says. “We’re… about to become strangers again. And strangers thank each other for favours.”

Kai does not respond. Sehun isn’t sure why his stomach turns to knots for saying that. Strangers…

Could he and Kai ever truly become strangers after eight years of sharing each other’s spaces, lives, hearts, bodies, souls?

“But you don’t have to do me all these favours,” Sehun then adds. “You are not obligated to anymore.”

Kai curls an arm around him and presses a palm to Sehun’s forehead. Sehun freezes, wondering if Kai is cradling his head. “Your fever’s come down a little.”

Sehun lifts his head from Kai’s shoulder and frowns at him. “Did you hear what I just said?”

Kai is staring ahead, brows drawn together. “I did,” he mutters and rises from the bed. “And I hate it that you think… I was _obligated_ to look after you before.”

Sehun’s face wilts even more. “I… um…”

“I’ll ask Mrs. Han to bring the food up when it’s ready.” With that, Kai storms out of the room, leaving Sehun to sulk in his own misery.

* * *

Sehun never fails to remind Kai why a divorce is the best course of action for them both from time to time. Some of their differences stretch beyond petty spats and disagreements. Like what Sehun had just said to him.

An _obligation_. It makes Kai wonder if Sehun is the one who has seen their marriage as an obligation all this while. They had been very young when they got married. At the time, Sehun believed that marriage was the catharsis of their relationship. Therefore, it had to happen. It was inevitable. It seemed like an obligation to him even back then.

It isn’t to say that Sehun did not love Kai. He most definitely did. But perhaps he had started to pay more attention to how they were not fulfilling each other’s obligations rather to the love they had for each other.

He began to nit-pick everything that Kai did. And in turn, Kai argued back about his complaints instead of admitting his fault and giving in. It went on for months. They stopped going on dates, they stopped eating together at home, they stopped talking to each other even when they went to sleep on the same bed and shared the same room. Kai isn’t sure who is to blame here. Perhaps he had been in the wrong, but he doesn’t know how he could have done better. Sehun did not tell him that. He was just annoyed with Kai and Kai ultimately became annoyed by him.

It isn’t something that happened overnight. Even though the incident that led them to unanimously decide on a divorce had taken place in the matter of minutes. The resentment and grievances, however, had long been there, slowly growing and expanding until one night, they just had to explode.

Point is, people do not fall out of love in one day. Kai and Sehun did not either. But they eventually did. And here they are.

Except that Kai isn’t certain just how much he has fallen out of love already. He keeps telling himself that living together with Sehun is no longer an option. They cannot just be housemates and be at each other’s throats all the time. Sehun clearly does not want to be with him. And that attitude will only worsen Kai’s resentment toward Sehun.

But how much does he really resent Sehun when he still runs to Sehun’s side every time Sehun needs him?

Is caring for someone all that different from loving that person?

Kai pushes the plate away, realizing that he does not harbour the appetite to finish his lunch. He should probably check on Sehun again and see if he wants to eat anything. But he decides not to. He does not need Sehun telling him that he is not obligated to him such favours again.

So, he tells Mrs. Han to take lunch upstairs to Sehun and convince him to eat it. After, he starts for his home office, hoping to do some work from home, when he hears the doorbell ring.

He wonders who it might be. They do not get many visitors. Most of their friends are couple friends and with the divorce, they don’t hang out much with anyone. Especially Sehun.

As he opens the door, he is surprised to find his mother on the doorstep, swathed in her fur coat. She removes her sunglasses and pins him with a dreadful look with one of her sharp eyebrows lifted.

“Kai,” she says in her diplomatic voice. Kai swallows.

“Mom,” he lets out. “What are you doing here?”

She lets herself in, shoving past him. She does not bother to remove her high-heeled pumps as she makes her way into the living room. “Ah, you,” she says, looking to Mrs. Han. “Take this coat, will you?”

Mrs. Han sets the food tray she is to take to Sehun on the sideboard and rushes to Kai’s mother’s side to take her coat. Putting her leather purse down on the coffee table then, she lounges on the couch, crossing her legs.

“Come, sit,” she tells Kai.

Closing the door, Kai shakes his head and walks over to her. “How did you know I was here?” he asked, perching on the edge of the coffee table, facing his mother.

She crosses her arms over her chest. “I went to your office first. You weren’t there.”

“Yeah. Sehun’s sick. I thought I would stay home in case he needs me.”

She gives him a funny look. “That’s very sweet of you,” she says with a sly smirk. “Considering your affair with the perky intern and your impending divorce, of course.”

Kai sighs, tossing his head back. “How did you know?”

The smile slips from his mother’s lips then, and she scowls. “You work in my company, Kai. I get the blow-by-blow on the office drama and scandals from time to time. Guess what’s the headlines for this week.”

Kai rubs his forehead. “I was going to tell you.”

She uncrosses her legs and sits up straighter. “The entire office has been muckraking about your affair, and I’m the last person to hear it. I’m your mother, Kai.”

“Sehun and I are splitting up, Mom,” Kai spits. “Why does it matter who I sleep with?”

She blinks at him then. “By that standard, I should have picked up every john and chad I met on the streets when I was married to your father.”

“For god’s sake,” Kai groans. “Sehun knows about this, okay? And guess what. He does not fucking care, Mom. The affair is not why we’re getting divorced.”

His mother is silent for a moment as she surveys Kai’s face with a disapproving glower. “Fine. We’ll get back to your affair later. Now, why are you and Sehun splitting up?”

“Does it matter?” Kai scoffs. “It’s happening whether or not I explain myself to you.”

“You two threw a huge hoopla about being together years ago. I was the only one who had your back. And now you’re telling me that I don’t have a right to know why my son is giving up on, and I quote you, the love of your life? So, you agree to date, get married and get divorced on your account whenever you please and expect no one to question or challenge you two for any of your actions? Well, my darling boy, do you take me for a sitting duck?”

Kai grits his teeth. It is so like his mother to manipulate him like this. But she does have a point. She did have their backs when they needed someone to.

“Mom,” he says tiredly at length. “He doesn’t… want to be with me anymore. And I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. People fall out of love. It happens. And they split up. You split up with Dad.”

“I never loved your Dad,” his mother says point-blank. “It was a marriage of a convenience.”

“Which you tossed away once it was no longer convenient for you,” Kai snorts.

“Exactly,” says his mother. “But that is marriage. _Love_ is something else.”

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t love me anymore.” Kai shrugs. And in his heart, he feels a stabbing pain.

His mother laughs then. “This is truly tragic,” she says. “I really thought Sehun was the one for you. And not to kick you while you’re down, but if even _his_ love for you can’t last a decade, I’m afraid, son, you’re going to be alone and unloved for the rest of your life.”

Kai grimaces at her. “What sort of mother says that to her own son?”

“An honest one,” she says, sounding like the businesswoman she is.

“And why do you think I’m going to be alone?”

His mother leans forward then and stares into Kai’s eyes. “Because you only know how to love Sehun.”

Kai scoffs again. “That’s bullshit. I’m twenty-five. Not sixty. A lot of people find love again.”

“Yeah, other people,” she says. “Remember the _Hot Wheels_ that you had when you were ten?”

Kai feels his jaw tighten.

“Once you lost it, you refused to get a replacement. Even the exact same model didn’t make you happy,” his mother said. “You just got too attached to that one toy car and couldn’t move on when you lost it.”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” Kai argues.

“What about Bongo? After he died, you never got another dog again. It’s been fourteen years since then.”

Kai does not say anything. He feels a sharp pain twist in his chest. Because he knows that he still is unwilling to get a pet, in spite of the number of times Sehun had asked for one.

“When you truly love something, Kai,” his mother says. “you won’t be able to love another just the same. There is no substitute for that kind of love. You can try and move on. You can pretend that you are happy. But deep down, you will always look back at the love you had let slip away. Because you know that you could have done something to hold onto it, but you didn’t. So, answer me this now.”

She takes Kai’s hands in hers and looks straight into his eyes.

“Does any part of you, even a small one, still love Sehun?”

Kai fights the lump that rises in his throat. For minutes, he is unable to say anything. Then licking his lips and swallowing, he says, “I do, Mom.”

Exhaling heavily, his mother leans back on the couch. “Now, I know I didn’t raise a loser. No son of mine is a pathetic also-run. Unless you are, you are going to win that boy back.”

“He hates me, Mom,” Kai tries saying again. “There’s no point in trying to win him back. He doesn’t want me. And I don’t want you convincing him to stay, okay? No one has to be forced to stay with me. I have my pride, too. I’m not going to beg him on my knees.”

“All right, then,” his mother says after a minute of glaring at him. She rises from the couch and grabs her coat. “Call it mother’s intuition, Kai, but I think you are making a grave mistake. You both are. Kids these days think that love is so easy to come by. If not him or her, then someone else. But before you know it, you are going to be growing old and alone. Or if you’re one of the lucky few, you might find another. But you will still resent yourself for giving up on someone that you could have hold on to for the rest of your life.”

She starts for the door and pauses again to look back at her son.

“You mentioned… _pride_ ,” she says with a sickeningly cunning smile on her face. “If you truly have any, darling, drop that babe you’re screwing at the office. I don’t care about what Sehun approves of. You’re still my son, and I am still the boss of you. I will have you fired for sexual misconduct in my company. And I will write off this house, which is still under my name, to Sehun. Consider it my punishment for your outrageously inappropriate behaviour.”

As she sees herself out, Kai buries his face in his hands and stifles the urge to scream. There is absolutely no winning against his mother. It is partly Kai’s fault. He should have just struck out on his own instead of agreeing to letting his mom groom him to take over her company one day.

Rising to his feet, he furiously marches up the stairs.

He halts dead in his tracks when he finds Sehun seated on one of the top steps with his head leaning against the railing.

“Sehun,” he lets out.

Sehun stares at him vacantly for a long moment. Then wiping his nose with a tissue, he hoarsely asks, “You still… love me?”


	7. Chapter 7

Kai isn’t sure how much of a lie it would be if he answered, _“I never stopped.”_

He’s spent so much of time and energy all this while convincing himself, and Sehun, that he no longer cares or loves Sehun. But can someone, especially one that has been so head over heels in love with someone else, ever truly stop loving that person? Perhaps Kai’s mother is right. Perhaps one can never really move on from a love that true and strong.

But Kai is also right to think that he should not have to beg for love, not from someone who doesn’t want or love him anymore. He knows that it will be a futile effort, and there is no way it could lead to a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

So, he ends up saying, “Does it matter?”

Sehun blows his nose and hangs his head. Kai could not tell if he is just tired and sick, or he actually looks saddened. “I guess not,” he mumbles, nose clogged. “Why did you… tell your mom that, then?”

Kai sighs and marches up the rest of the steps between them before he takes his seat on the step beside Sehun. “Why do you ask if it doesn’t matter to you anymore?” he asks, maintaining a gentle, hushed tone.

Sehun does not answer for a long moment. He seems to be lost in his own thoughts. Then at length, he whispers, “It would not make sense… if you were telling her… the truth,” he says, still keeping his gaze low.

Frowning, Kai stares at him for a moment. Sehun is having a hard time breathing through his mouth.

He can’t remember the last time they had sat on the stairs and talked about something. But Sehun’s go-to spot when he is brooding about one thing or another is the staircase. Kai has found him on it numerous times, waiting for some comfort.

Sehun does not look any different now. He still looks like he is seeking Kai’s comfort as he leans his head against the railing. He looks so vulnerable and fatigued.

“Why not?” asks Kai.

Sehun licks his chapped lips. “You moved on so fast,” he says. Kai blinks at him. “It didn’t take you… more than a few months… to get on with your life… I don’t know, with the girl from your workplace.”

Kai looks away, jaw clenched.

“Between us two,” Sehun continues. “I’m the one who’s lost all hope for… another relationship.”

“Lia and I are not…” Kai begins but trails off when Sehun lifts his head to look at him. He does not need to explain himself or his feelings, or lack thereof, for Lia. Because Sehun does not care. It will change nothing. But he does want to give Sehun the comfort he longs for. If not Kai, then who will be there for him?

He wraps his arm around Sehun’s shoulders and pulls him close.

Sehun lets him.

“Look,” he says. “Just because this relationship failed, it doesn’t mean the others will, too. I don’t know how much you heard, but my mom can be wrong. You have to keep hoping, Sehun. You can’t lose that hope. You need to trust that… someday, the right person will walk into your life, and you _will_ be happy with him. I can’t have you lose that hope because of me. Okay? I need you to be happy. That’s the only reason why I’m willing to let you go.”

His eyes sting with tears as he speaks. He tries to swallow back the sob that is rising in his throat.

“Because you’re not happy with me,” he adds, bringing his hand to cup the back of Sehun’s neck, gently stroking his hair at the nape.

Sehun nods his head weakly, looking like he may be struggling with an impending sob of his own. “How did we… get like this?”

The question takes Kai by surprise. It is the first time, since they started drifting apart, has Sehun ever expressed any grievance over it.

“I… don’t know,” Kai murmurs, withdrawing his hand from Sehun.

Sehun wipes his nose with the tissue and looks at Kai. “I should… get back to bed.”

“Yeah.”

Pushing himself up, Sehun turns around and starts for his room. He pauses briefly to glance back at Kai. “Don’t listen to your mother,” he says. “If you think… you have a future with… that girl, then hold onto her. I won’t be around for long.”

Kai does not reply as he turns away, grinding his teeth.

* * *

It isn’t after late in the evening does Kai go up to Sehun’s room to check on him. He is asleep. Kai isn’t surprised, given the amount of cold syrup he has been guzzling all day.

He walks over to a side of the bed and gently takes a seat on its edge, careful not to wake Sehun up. He stays there, unmoving, for a long moment, just staring at the floor with his shoulders slumped and head hung.

“Yeah, I do,” he whispers into the dark only for himself to hear. “And I don’t think I can ever stop.”

He looks over to Sehun and smiles at how cute he is, in spite of being sick, when he is sleeping. He has his mouth hanging open, sucking in deep and heavy breaths. His mussed hair is all over his face.

Kai is unable to hold himself back as he leans in and brushes a light kiss on Sehun’s forehead. “So long you’re happy,” he breaths out, pulling back a little to look at Sehun’s face.

Sighing heavily, he then rises from the bed and wends his way to his own room, where he immediately topples over onto the bed and runs his hand over the space where Sehun used to sleep on.

* * *

“Looking great, Mr. Sehun. Going out?” the gardener boy asks with a smirk from where he is standing, pruning the bushes, as Sehun steps out of the house, pulling his shades on and running his hand through his hair.

“Yeah,” Sehun says, heading toward the garage. “Do you need me to get you some back-to-school supplies?”

The boy makes a face. “When are you going to see me as a man, Mr. Sehun?”

“When you turn into one.”

With that, he walks into the garage and climbs into the Porsche.

After the meeting with his lawyer, he briefly pops in to see his editor before he heads over to the mall. It has been a while since he went on a haul. The flu had kept him indoors for nearly a fortnight. He desperately needs some self-pampering. And he is suddenly in the mood to max out Kai’s credit card.

He strides into the bookstore first to check out the new arrivals. Though none of the books catch his eyes, a particular someone does. And he is walking towards him right now.

“Sehun,” he says, flashing a brilliant smile.

Removing his shades, Sehun gasps, nearly choking on his breath. “Adam!” he yaps, rushing into the other man’s open arms.

Adam laughs and pulls back, still flaunting that great smile of his. “How have you been?” he asks. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I’m good,” Sehun says, unable to stop himself from grinning. “Wow. Look at you, though. You’ve gotten… tall.”

Very tall. And impressively broad-shouldered.

Adam was the one boy Sehun has ever had a serious crush on apart from Kai. But at the time, not only was the guy a couple of years younger than Sehun, he was already in a relationship with someone. Sehun never really made a move on him. He never made a move on anyone. He was too shy for that.

“Yeah,” Adam chuckles. “And you look… great as ever.”

Sehun feels himself blushing. He lets out a nervous laugh and rubs the back of his neck. “You’re in town?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m visiting my parents. And I’m going to stay for Kimi’s wedding.”

Sehun’s face lights up. “You’re going to her wedding?”

“Of course.”

 _Of course_. He was, and probably still is, Kimi’s best friend since childhood after all. It was how Sehun got to know him in the first place.

“You’re coming too, right?” Adam asks.

Sehun fumbles for a moment before saying, “Yeah. I am now. Definitely.”

Adam lowers his gaze and looks fixedly at Sehun’s hands before his smile widens. “I thought I heard you got married.”

Sehun rubs his finger where the wedding band used to be with his thumb. “I was,” he says. He stutters for a moment. No one in his family knows about his embarrassing situation. He isn’t sure he wants Kimi’s wedding to turn into a pity party for him. “I am.”

Adam’s eyebrows rise. “Oh.”

“I just… I’m getting my ring resized,” he lies.

“I see,” Adam lets out. “Well, if you’re not doing anything else right now, do you want to get a cup of coffee or lunch or something?”

Sehun smiles and nods. “Yeah, sure. That would be super.”

* * *

After a very, very long time, Sehun comes home smiling and in a cheerful mood. He’s had a fantastic day.

Turns out, Adam is still a keen bookworm as he was when he was younger. He is also a fan of the opera and classical music. They had so much to talk about. And not once did Sehun have to bring Kai or his marriage to the table, so that was extra nice.

They got to talking about Sehun’s books, too. Adam said that he’s already read a couple of them and loved them. That made Sehun’s day. Actually, Adam made his day. Through and through.

As he saunters into the house, whistling a merry tune, he halts in his tracks when he hears Kai say, “You seem to be in a good mood.”

Sehun turns and starts toward the living room, where Kai is lounged on a couch, watching a football game on the TV. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah. I had a blinding headache. Had to come home.”

Sehun arches an eyebrow at the two bottles of beer on the coffee table and the half-eaten pack of pretzels. “Uh-huh. Or maybe you had an important game you didn’t want to miss.”

“I plead the second.”

Sehun rolls his eyes. He stands there for a moment, gnawing at his lip. “Hey,” he says. Kai briefly tears his gaze from the TV and fixes it on Sehun. “I was thinking that… maybe we should go to my cousin’s wedding.”

Kai stares at him. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

Sehun shrugs. “I met Adam today,” he says. Kai looks confused. “He’s a friend of Kimi. We used to hang out when we were younger.”

“Oh.”

“And he’s… going to the wedding,” says Sehun, smiling.

Kai’s eyes narrow. “So?”

“I told him I’ll go, too,” Sehun says. “It could be fun. Besides, the resort is big enough for the both of us. You do your thing, and I’ll do mine.”

Kai pulls his feet down from the table and shifts on the couch, so that he is facing Sehun now. “Wait a second,” he says. “Is that the same Adam you once said you were infatuated with?”

Sehun does not respond. He looks to a nearby wall.

“Isn’t he like 20?” Kai scoffs.

“He’s 24,” Sehun spits. “And he’s… in his last year of college.”

Kai snorts out a laugh and returns his attention to the TV. “Sure, honey,” he says. “I’m up for the wedding if you are.”

Sehun pulls a sour face, annoyed that his husband sounds so cocky, before he turns on his heel and marches upstairs. He would have liked to get an angrier reaction out of Kai, but he supposes it’s for the better. And it isn’t like Sehun is seeking Kai’s approval or anything, anyway.


	8. Chapter 8

Just a handful of seconds after entering his office, he hears the door banging open behind him. He turns around to see Lia barging into the office with an angry look etched on her face.

“You haven’t returned any of my calls,” she says with her hands on her hips.

Kai plumps in the chair at his desk and rubs his temples. “I was busy.”

“Seriously? That’s your excuse?”

Kai arches an eyebrow at her. “Why are you acting like you’re my girlfriend?”

Lia’s jaw falls slack at that. She wordlessly stares at Kai for a long minute, arms falling limply at her side. Then drawing a sharp breath, she says, “Am I not? We have been sleeping together for months now.”

“Exactly,” Kai spits. “We were sleeping together. I never said that we were in a relationship.”

“You are unbelievable,” she lets out, still gaping at him. “This is Sehun, isn’t it? He said something? Have you decided to stay with him after all?”

“Look, Lia,” Kai grumbles. “I don’t want to do this right now, okay? Can you just get back to work?”

“No,” she whines, walking over to the desk. “I demand an explanation. Why are you treating me like this all of a sudden?”

Kai rolls his eyes. “I have a lot on my plate at the moment. And I cannot deal with this. I never promised you anything. I’d like to keep this casual. But if you are going to start hound me, acting like you are my wife or something, maybe we should quit this.”

“Did you ever… plan on getting serious with me, then? After your divorce?”

“I don’t recall making such promises,” he says, shrugging. “We keep having our fun. Not at the office, though. I can’t have my mom breathing down my neck. But I will not promise you a relationship.”

“Do you even like me, then?” she asks, brows furrowed in a deep frown.

“Of course, I do,” Kai spits.

“The way you like… Sehun?”

Kai scowls at her then. “Are you out of your mind?”

She scoffs, shaking her head. “You might be splitting up, but at least have the decency to admit that you still love him. And you have absolutely no feelings for me. You rush to his side every time he needs you. You still wear your wedding ring. You prioritize him over me, even though you keep saying that you can’t wait to be divorced. You can keep lying to me, but how long do you think you can lie to yourself, Kai?”

Kai keeps mum, his gaze piercing into Lia.

“He is going to leave you,” she says a while later, pulling away from the desk. “And you are going to end up alone and miserable. Then maybe you will come to regret tossing me aside.”

With that, she storms out of the office.

Exhaling heavily, Kai slumps back in his seat and closes his eyes momentarily. A moment later, he calls his assistant and tells him that he will not be around for the next couple of weeks, so all meetings and appointments need to be postponed.

Perhaps it is a good idea to go away for a while. He could use the break to clear his head. He isn’t sure how much time he will get to spend with Sehun, since it is the last thing that Sehun wants to do, but two weeks at a lavish resort ought to allow Kai some room to blow off some steam, even though he will be surrounded by Sehun’s family.

When he arrives home later in the evening, he does not find Sehun in any of the rooms downstairs. As he marches upstairs, he spots Sehun in his room, giggling on the phone while packing his bags.

Kai leans against the doorframe with his hands in the pockets of his pants as he watches Sehun stuff a basketball team hoodie, one that he had stolen from Kai years ago, into one of the bags. Kai isn’t surprised that Sehun has kept it, though. He knows that all of his missing sweatshirts, hoodies and T-shirts end up in Sehun’s closet.

“But you did like the draft, didn’t you?” Sehun asks over the phone. The response makes him stop everything that he was doing and blush. “You’re too kind to me, Adam.”

Adam.

Kai clenches his jaw. Sehun has been chatting with that guy on the daily now. At first, Kai thought that Sehun is doing this to annoy him. But he has soon realized that Sehun is genuinely enjoying the company.

It has been a long, long time since Kai has heard Sehun’s laughter in the house. It feels like a punch to the gut. He knows that he should be happy that Sehun is happy, but he isn’t. It takes him all of his strength to not to stomp over to Sehun right now, wrench the phone out of his hand and fling it out the window.

Sehun eventually notices Kai’s presence and scowls at him. “Hey, Adam. Can I call you back? There’s a stray at my door. I have to get rid of it.”

Kai huffs heavily. “Need I remind you this is _my_ house?”

“Need I remind you that we don’t have a prenup?” he spits after ending the call.

“One of my many mistakes.”

“What do you want?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What time do we leave tomorrow?”

“We?”

“I’m assuming we’re driving together.”

“No, we’re not.”

Kai sighs. “Do you really want to show up there separately and raise some unwanted questions?”

Sehun looks away for a moment, scowling at the floor now. He then turns his back to Kai and proceeds with his packing. “Fine,” he grumbles. “We’ll go there together. But you’re driving. We have to leave at eight if we want to get there by noon.”

“Do you really need that many outfits and shoes?”

“You know my family. They can be very judgmental and condescending. Bunch of insufferable jerks. You should pack your Rolexes and your Armanis, too.”

Kai laughs despite himself. Sehun turns around and pins him with a black look. “So, you want to show off.”

“What’s the point of having a rich husband if I can’t parade him and his possessions around like a trophy?” Sehun stops and flinches back as soon as he says it. Kai stares at him. It is the first time in ages since Sehun has called him his husband. “Soon… to be ex-husband,” he adds after a while.

Kai swallows and licks his lips. “You can show up there looking you just came out of the _Selfridges_ all you want. I’ll maintain my dignity with some modesty.”

Sehun glowers at him before returning to his packing.

* * *

Sehun wakes up early the next morning. He isn’t sure why he is as excited as he is, especially when he had his heart set out on not going to the wedding in the beginning. Perhaps it has something to do with a certain someone he has been talking to lately. He has barely been able to sleep last night.

He takes a quick shower and jumps into his clothes. Then as he stands in front of the mirror, he neatens his hair and gives his reflection one last look before he hurries out of the room.

Kai does not answer when Sehun knocks on his door. The bastard is probably still asleep. As soon Sehun opens the door and enters, he wishes that he hadn’t.

Kai is sound asleep, on his stomach, a side of his face buried in the pillow, arms sprawled out to either ends of the bed, hair mussed, duvet kicked aside. He is wearing nothing but a pair of tight boxers that put his ass on an obscene display. His toned back looks amazing, too. Sehun is suddenly reminded of all the time he had left long, red marks of his fingernails on that back. He took great pride in those marks. Just as Kai had taken pride in leaving noticeable bruises all over Sehun’s body.

“Kai!” Sehun yaps, walking over to the side of the bed. Kai stirs and moans into the pillow, shifting his head to the other side. “Wake up. We have to leave soon!”

Kai does not budge. Groaning, Sehun climbs into the bed and grabs Kai’s hair at the back of his head before tugging at it to lift Kai’s head off the pillow. “Ow! Sehun! What the fuck?!”

“Wake up!”

Even though he immediately releases Kai’s hair, Kai grabs his wrist and aggressively yanks him forward until he topples on top of his husband. “Five more minutes,” Kai mumbles, wrapping his arms around Sehun.

“Let go of me!” Sehun squirms, shoving Kai’s arms off. He quickly scrambles off the bed and huffs heavily. “Wake the hell up or I will leave without you.”

Kai turns onto his back and groans loudly, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Fine,” he lets out in his hoarse voice. “I’m up. I’m up.”

Sehun shakes his head and steps away from the bed. “I’ll load the car and wait for you downstairs.”

Kai sits up on the edge of the bed and takes a few minutes to fully wake himself up.

After loading the car with their bags, Sehun impatiently waits for Kai on the porch when the gardener boy shows up with a silly grin playing on his lips.

“Good morning, Mr. Sehun,” he greets. Sehun blinks his eyes at the boy.

“Hey, Kai and I are going on a two-week vacation,” says Sehun. “Just make sure the grass doesn’t get too long, okay?”

The smile falters from the boy’s face. “What? Vacation? Together? I thought you two were… done.”

“We are,” says Sehun. “But it’s a family thing.”

“Oh.” He scratches the back of his head. “Okay, then. So, I still got a shot.”

“Got a shot at what?” asks Kai as he steps out of the house with his shades on.

The gardener boy stutters for a moment. “Nothing, sir,” he lets out and hurries away.

Kai cocks a brow at Sehun as he walks past him. “What is he on about?”

“Oh,” Sehun mutters, following Kai toward the car. “It’s nothing. The boy’s got the hots for me.”

Kai halts in his tracks and lowers his sunglasses a little to fix Sehun with a look. “Say what now?”

Sehun shrugs. “But it goes to show how many prospects I have out there.”

Kai snorts out a chuckle. “Yeah. If you want to start a kindergarten.”

Sehun’s smug expression slips from his face, and he scowls at Kai. “I didn’t say I like him back.”

“Hand me the keys.”

Sehun tosses Kai the keys and climbs into the car. “Can’t we take the Porsche?” he asks once Kai slides into the driver’s seat.

“It’s a BMW, Sehun. I’m sure your relatives will be just as impressed.”

Pouting, Sehun fastens the seatbelt while Kai starts the engine. “Three hours. No talking. And I pick the songs.”

Kai says nothing as he pulls the car out of the driveway.

* * *

“I’m hungry,” says Sehun, less than fifteen minutes on the road. “Should we stop at a drive-thru and get breakfast?”

“Is this you not talking?” Kai asks, keeping eyes on the road, hands steady on the steering wheel and the gear stick.

Sehun makes a face at him. “Fine.” He looks out the window, grinding his teeth.

* * *

“Why did you skip that song?” Kai inquired when Sehun was quick to change the track as _Redbone_ ’s _Come and Get Your Love_ starts playing.

“Because you don’t like it,” he muttered and snapped his lips shut, looking over to Kai in something like horror. “I mean… it’s overrated.”

Kai smiles to himself and scoffs.

And then _Rupert Holmes’ Escape_ goes on.

Kai and Sehun fall silent for a moment, both exchanging a knowing glance. It is _their_ song. It is the song that was playing at the diner they kissed first time. Sehun’s lips had tasted like strawberry milkshake.

Sehun does not skip the song. In fact, he starts singing, glancing out the window. “ _If you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain_.”

Kai joins him. “ _If you’re not into yoga, if you have half a brain_.”

They look at each other then and grin, singing together. “ _If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape! Then I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me and escape!_ ”

They laugh, both shaking their heads like idiots. “There’s a drive-thru,” Kai says, pulling the car toward the establishment.

“Oh, yes!”

Sehun eagerly orders four cheeseburgers, one large fries, one large soda for Kai, one strawberry milkshake for himself, much to Kai’s amusement.

“Milkshake,” Kai mutters, still unable to wipe the grin off his face.

“What?” Sehun asks.

“Nothing.” Perhaps Sehun does not remember that this was their song.

* * *

Kai stops on a side of the road twice to take a piss. Sehun calls him an uncultured Neanderthal for doing so.

“It’s either that or I pee into your milkshake cup,” Kai says, and Sehun grimaces at him.

* * *

By the time they reach the resort, Kai is ready to stretch out his back and legs. They step out of the car and hand the keys over the valet.

“Fuck,” Kai lets out, popping the joints in his neck. “I don’t know about you. But I could use a rubdown right about now.”

“Me too,” Sehun sighs.

As they start toward the entrance, a group of people rush out of the building, screaming and hollering, flailing their arms in the air.

Kai stops abruptly, realizing that it was Sehun’s family. Or a small fraction of it. He quickly recognizes Sehun’s parents and a couple of Sehun’s cousins. Kimi is not here, though. And he does not know who the other four people are. But they look excited to see Sehun.

“Sehun!” one of them screeches, throwing herself onto him. “Long time no see, dude!”

“Yeah,” Sehun exhales nervously and pulls back. “Mom. Dad.”

“You made it,” says his mother.

“I really had my money on you bailing on the last minute with some lame excuse,” says Sehun’s father. “But you both are here!”

“Oh, yes,” rasps Sehun’s mother, rushing over to Kai to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you for coming, Kai.”

“Of course, Mom,” replies Kai. “Said I would come, didn’t I?”

“Is he here?” Kai then hears a frail voice say.

“Uh-oh,” mutters Sehun’s mother. “Stand by.”

An old woman pushes through the crowd then. They look old enough to pass for Sehun’s grandmother. It is then when Kai realizes that she is indeed his grandmother. He has only met her once. And that was by accident when she ran into Kai and Sehun at the mall.

Sehun had introduced Kai to her as his ‘friend’.

“Nana!” Sehun gasps, hurrying over to her. He quickly puts his arms around her and envelops her in a tight embrace.

“Look at you,” says his grandmother. Kai wonders how old she is. She looks _very_ old. So old that she is clinging onto people to even stand up. “All grown up now.”

Sehun laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

His grandmother looks over to Kai then. “And… who is this?”

Sehun blinks, glancing over to his parents. They shake their heads at him. Sehun’s mouth falls open, and he desperately looks back at Kai. “Uh…”

“Oh!” his grandmother exclaims. “Your roommate.”

“What?” Kai says.

“Your mom said that you’ll be coming with your roommate,” says the old lady. “He’s quite handsome. But I would have been happier if you had come with a wife, Sehun. I’m getting too old. I want to see some great-grandbabies before I die.”

“Nana,” Sehun grumbles with a pained look on his face. Kai scowls at him. He shrugs at Kai apologetically.

“Let’s go inside!” Sehun’s father says. “I bet you two could use some rest.”

“And some cocktails!” says one of Sehun’s cousins.

As they usher his grandmother inside, Sehun turns to Kai. “Sorry about that. I didn’t remember that nobody told her about… me being gay and married to a man.”

“She thinks I’m your fucking _roommate_?!” Kai hisses at him.

“She’s a very old lady, Kai!” Sehun hisses back. “Why give her the unnecessary stress?”

“So, I’m going to have to pretend that we bunk together?!”

“Who cares?!” Sehun growls. “We’re not together, anyways.”

Kai stops himself then. That’s right. He has no real reason to be upset about it. Actually, they are nothing but housemates now.

“Come on,” Sehun sighs.

Kai rubs his eyes and follows Sehun into the lobby. Sehun’s father holds out a room key to Kai. “It’s a pretty fancy room. Kimi went all out on this wedding,” he says.

Kai raises a brow at Sehun, holding the key card up. “We’re sharin’ a room.”

Sehun clenches his jaw. “Maybe we can get another room later,” he whispers to Kai.

“Relax,” Kai whispers back. “I won’t be seeing anything I haven’t already seen.” He musters Sehun up and down.

Sehun slaps his chest with the back of his hand and scowls.

“Why don’t you two go freshen up,” says Sehun’s mother. “And come down to the pool for lunch. The whole family will be waiting for you.”

As they make their way up in the elevator, Sehun says, “Do you think this is a bad idea?”

“What is?” Kai mumbles, leaning against the wall of the elevator.

“This whole… thing. Hiding the truth from my family.”

Kai shrugs. “I’ll play along all you want. But you’re going to have to tell them at one point, Sehun.”

Sehun lets out a heavy breath. “I just… don’t want everyone to think that I… I’m an idiot who believed in… sappy romance stories and made the wrong choices, you know?”

Kai does not respond.

As soon as they walk into their hotel room, Sehun hurries onto the balcony to gawk at the fantastic ocean view. “This is… amazing,” he gasps.

“Yeah. It’s pretty impressive,” Kai concedes, though he is more fixated on the bed.

Sehun walks back in and looks at the bed, too. His cheeks immediately turn into a faint shade of red. “I’m… going to wash up,” he murmurs and starts for the bathroom. Kai takes a deep breath and plumps on the bed, burying his face in his palms.


	9. Not an update!!

If I do not explicitly give you my permission to translate/distribute/repost my stories, then you're really not allowed to do any of that. What's not clicking? Sorry, I'm a little teed off with this situation. It has happened so many times that I'm TiRED of it.

Please, spread the word about this incredibly rude and entitled [user](https://www.wattpad.com/user/Rital_san), who has been translating and reposting this story without my permission on [here](https://my.w.tt/LKxYWlBVv3). 


	10. Chapter 10

“What are you wearing?” Sehun asks once they have made their way down to the infinity pool, where Sehun’s family is gathered for lunch, after a quick washup.

Kai arches his brow behind his sunglasses. “What?” he says as Sehun leers at the beach shorts he is wearing. “My vacation shorts. Why? What’s wrong with them?”

Sehun slowly raises his gaze to Kai’s white shirt, that is barely buttoned. He quickly averts his eyes before Kai could catch him staring at the cleft of his toned chest. “This isn’t a vacation.”

Shrugging, Kai says, “You might want to stop scowling at me like that. Your cousin Pete is waving at you.”

Sehun turns his head and glances over to the table where his cousins are seated at, waving excitedly at him.

“Sehun! Sehun’s here!” someone yells in the crowd and all heads turn toward Sehun and Kai.

There are more relatives than Sehun was hoping there’d be. Some of them climb out of the pool to pounce on him, squeezing him in a tight embrace. The rest of them promptly come over to greet and welcome him. He still catches no sight of Kimi.

“Haven’t seen you in a long time,” says one of his uncles. “And who’s this?”

Sehun pins Kai with a sidelong look and sighs. “This is Kai,” he tells everyone who hasn’t met Kai. “He is my… husband.”

They waste no time in warming up to Kai, surprisingly. Sehun is not sure how many of them already knew beforehand that he has been married to a man for years now. But his family welcomes Kai to a seat in the most cordial manner, which overjoys Sehun for some strange reason.

It should not even matter whether his family accepts Kai or not. But it warms Sehun’s heart to see his family fawning over Kai, like he is the shiny new thing.

“So, how long have you two been married?” asks one of Sehun’s aunts as they take their seat at a table by the pool.

“Six years,” answers Kai, smiling as pleasantly as ever. Sehun turns his attention to his cousins, while the others continue to grill Kai for details about himself.

“He looks so much hotter than in your pictures,” said his cousin. Sehun figures she is talking about the pictures he used to post on his social media accounts.

He glances at Kai, as though to make sure that his cousin is right about his husband being hot. Sehun decides, just for this one time, that Kai indeed is. Because he is smiling. He looks relaxed. He is in shorts and a barely buttoned shirt.

“Boy, did you luck out,” says another one of his cousins.

“Oh, come on,” says Sehun’s aunt, who has been listening in on their conversation. “Sehun is no slouch himself. He is the prettiest in the family. Do not tell Kimi that. But if you ask me, your husband lucked out, too.”

That Sehun is happy to hear.

“Sehun!” he hears Kimi’s voice before he sees her, jogging towards the table. “You made it!”

Sehun rises from his seat to give her a warm hug. “You went all out on your wedding, cus,” he says, scoffing. “This is… extravagant.”

“It was all Matthew’s idea,” she laughs. “Honey, come over here. Say hi to my absolute favourite cousin!”

A man walks over, beaming from ear to ear, and holds a hand out to Sehun. Must be Kimi’s fiancé. “Pleasure meeting you at last, Sehun,” he says.

“Same here,” replies Sehun, mirroring the man’s smile.

“Oh, Kai!” Kimi exclaims all of a sudden and shoves past Sehun to throw herself onto Kai. “So good to see you again after so long!”

“Congratulations, Kimi,” says Kai, pulling back from the embrace. “Hey, man.” He then turns to the groom. “Decided to step into the hell they call marriage, huh?”

Kimi playfully slaps him on the chest while Sehun fixes him with a glower.

Kai smirks. “I’m kidding,” he says, curling an arm around Sehun’s waist to pull him close. Sehun lets him. Not only because he does not want to cause a scene at the moment, but also because… in spite of being the midst of his own family, it feels as though Kai is the most familiar person here, as though he is Sehun’s closest family member. “We’re very happily married. Aren’t we, dear?”

Sehun makes a face at Kai. “Of course, we are,” he says through his teeth.

“Wow,” Kimi’s fiancé lets out. “You two are… an adorable couple.”

“Aren’t they?” chimes Kimi before she throws her arms around Kai and Sehun for another hug. “I’m so glad you two made it. And I hope you will have a fabulous time here!”

“Sehun?”

Sehun turns his head around to look at Adam, who is waving at him from the pool. _Oh, God._

He slowly pulls away from Kai and excuses himself from Kimi and her fiancé before he starts for the pool. “Adam,” he calls, grinning from ear to ear.

Running a hand through his wet hair, Adam climbs out of the pool, clad in nothing but his incredibly obscene swimming trunks. Sehun swallows hard as blood fills his cheeks.

“When did… you arrive?” Sehun inquires, trying to keep his gaze away from Adam’s rippled abdomen. And God, was it close to impossible…

“Last night,” answers Adam. He briefly glances over Sehun’s shoulder and cocks an eyebrow. “The guy who’s glaring daggers at me right now. Is that your husband?”

Sehun looks back at Kai, who has returned to the table and is now watching him with Adam, sipping a Bellini cocktail while answering the questions Sehun’s family is bombarding him with.

“Yeah,” Sehun breathes out, turning back to Adam. “That’s him.”

“Hmm,” Adam hums, carding his fingers through his damp hair again. Sehun swallows hard. “Will you be joining us for dinner tonight? And the party afterwards?”

Sehun crosses his arms over his chest and nods. “Will you be there?” he asks. Subtle. He wants to roll his eyes at how desperate he sounds.

Adam chuckles and simpers. “Yes.”

“Then I’ll be there.” Dammit.

“See you later then.” With that, Adam strides away, and Sehun stays put to ogle the flexing muscles in the man’s back. Exhaling heavily, he then turns around to return to the table.

“That’s Adam,” Sehun tells Kai, sidling next to him in the chair. “by the way.”

But Kai is not listening to him. He is barely responding to the questions Sehun’s uncle is throwing in his way either. Sehun blinks confusedly and looks in the direction Kai has been staring in.

That is when Sehun realizes that Kai has been leering at the woman at another table, who is basically undressing him with her fucking eyes.

Sehun isn’t sure if she is one of Kimi’s friends, or if she is just someone visiting the resort. She is clad in a scanty monokini and a lacy kimono, deliberately twirling her tongue around the straw of her cocktail.

“Kai,” Sehun hisses under his breath, eyebrows furrowing into a scowl.

“Hm.”

“What are you doing?”

Kai finally tears his gaze away from the blonde-haired woman and fixes it on Sehun. “What?”

Sehun glances around and finds some of his relatives staring at them, so he decides to drop it for now. “Nothing,” he mutters and wrenches the glass out of Kai’s hand to take a sip of the concoction.

* * *

“How did you and Sehun meet?” another one of Sehun’s cousins asks as Kai lounges on a pool chair as the sun starts to set in the horizon. Kai looks around for Sehun and finds him entertaining his uncles and aunts at a table.

“Completely by chance one day,” Kai tells Bora. “It’s… one of the best days of my life. It felt like I had stepped into a fairy-tale.”

“That sounds so romantic,” Bora singsongs.

Kai takes in a breath, reminiscing everything that happened that day. He remembers how Sehun had blushed when Kai approached him. The way he could barely speak when Kai started flirting with him. Sehun was a different person back then. Over the years, Kai had brought out the worst in him. “Yeah.”

But he saw a glimpse of the old, happy, blushing Sehun when he was talking to that guy, Adam earlier. As much as he wants Sehun to find his happiness, a bitter feeling bubbles in Kai’s chest when he entertains the idea of Sehun finding that happiness in another man.

“Hi,” he hears a woman’s voice and turns to look at the lady who has been giving him sly looks all afternoon. “I’m Tara,” she introduces herself, sticking her hand out to Kai as she settles in the chair next to him.

Kai takes her hand. “Kai,” he says.

“Are you here for the wedding?” she asks, removing her sunglasses.

“Yeah. You?”

“Oh, no,” she says. “I’m just here for the weekend. You have a big family.”

Kai smiles. She’s not his type. But he liked the way Sehun had reacted when he thought Kai was ogling her. So, he wants to see how this will play out if he keeps with it.

He feels a rough tap on his shoulder then. Raising his head, he squints at Sehun, who is glaring down at him. “We should get back to our room and get ready for the dinner,” he says angrily.

Kai sighs. “Must we?”

Sehun’s scowl hardens.

Kai turns to Tara and smiles. “I’ll see you later then, Tara.”

She nods and flashes a suggestive smile. Pushing himself up, Kai follows Sehun toward the lobby.

As soon as they are safe behind closed elevator doors, Sehun shoves Kai back by the chest until Kai hits the wall of the elevator. “What do you think you’re doing?” Sehun demands furiously.

“What? You were the one who said you’ll do your thing and I’ll do mine,” says Kai, smirking, sliding his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

Sehun’s hard expression softens into one that hints a bit of confusion. He steps back and scratches the back of his head. “Yeah,” he lets out. “Yeah. I… We should do that.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

The elevator dings open. Sehun stares vacantly for a long moment before he steps out and walks away, lost in his own thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

Dinner is a little more than aggravating. Everyone is either eating or fawning over Kai. Everyone wants to know what it is like looking after a company. Everyone wants to know what it is like being married to Sehun. Everyone wants to know how rich Kai is. Sehun’s grandparents want to know if Sehun is a messy roommate, and Kai replies to them by saying only when he is angry.

Sehun tries to ignore everyone and eat in silence, but Kai’s foot was rubbing against his shin under the table. Well, he does not really try to pull away from the contact. Even though most of the people at the table were his family, somehow Kai feels the least alien to him. Sehun catches Adam smiling in his way a few times, and though he smiles back at the man, he does not let his gaze linger.

He is more focused on his irritating husband, who seems like he is having a good time telling Sehun’s cousins the story of how Sehun was chased by a chihuahua around the neighbourhood.

“When I came home,” says Kai, laughing. “he was in tears. He swore to me that he would find a way to kill all those ugly small dogs in the world. I spent all night making him feel better.”

“That was a long time ago,” Sehun grumbles, shoving another spoon of frozen yogurt into his mouth.

“It’s like the time when he was grabbed by a couple of monkeys on our vacation,” says Bora.

“He must be so delicious,” scoffs another one of Sehun’s cousins, Lionel.

“Oh, yes, he is,” says Kai, lifting his glass of long island iced tea. He winks at Sehun, sipping his drink through the straw.

Sehun glowers back at him.

Kimi’s fiancé stands up to make a toast next. He thanks everyone who has come to celebrate them. He thanks his own family, then Kimi’s, and then his beautiful, wonderful fiancée. Kimi gives him a kiss when he sits back down.

Sehun stills in his seat when he feels Kai’s bare foot rub against his shin again. He then looks up at his husband annoyedly. Kai smirks at him. He looks tipsy. He _is_ tipsy. Sehun kicks him on the shin, and Kai jumps a little in his seat.

“Anymore funny stories about Sehun, Kai?” asks Lionel.

“Hmm,” hums Kai.

Sehun calmly stirs his froyo. “Well, I’ve got a funny story about Kai,” he says. “And his colleague.”

Kai’s expression hardens immediately, and he looks at Sehun like he is a ghost. It is Sehun’s turn to smirk.

“Should I tell them, Kai?” asks Sehun. “What a joke you are?”

Everyone at their side of the table has gone quiet with curiosity.

Kai’s jaw tightens noticeably, and his eyes are now unblinking. And then he starts smiling again. Leaning back in his chair, he says, “Be my guest, darling. Let your family know what a joke I am to you.”

Sehun clenches his hand into a fist. He catches his mother frowning at him from where she is sitting.

“Yeah,” Kai scoffs at length. “Didn’t think so.”

The roiling tension at the table persists for a length before Kimi speaks again about the agenda for tomorrow. “Salsa lessons!” she announces. “So, make sure you show up with a partner tomorrow. If you’re not all so hungover.”

After dinner, once the elders of the families have retired to their rooms, Kimi ushers the others back to the pool, where she promptly orders everyone to enjoy the rest of the evening drinking and dancing.

The night scene is a lot different. There is loud music, played by the DJ in his booth. Shrimp cocktail, goat cheese balls on toothpicks, a swim-up bar, a regular bar, and people cavorting about without a care in the world.

Sehun stands away from it all with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Do you plan on being a party pooper the whole time?”

Sehun turns around to find Adam approaching him with a smile and two drinks in his hands. He smiles back faintly and shakes his head. “Sorry,” he mutters. “This isn’t really my scene.”

Adam hands him the drink. Sehun accepts it. “Well, we can bail on it if you want. I can’t promise you we’d find a book club to join at this hour, but I’m sure there are other things.”

Sehun laughs, taking a sip of the cocktail. “Thanks,” he says. “But I’d rather just hit the sack in a while.”

Adam shrugs. They both stand next to each other for a stretch, watching the people around them frolicking like there is no tomorrow. Sehun looks for Kai in the crowd. He finds Kai at the bar, making conversation with some stranger while nursing a bottle of beer in his hand.

Sehun finishes his drink and eyes Adam wearily. Chuckling, Adam tells him that he will get him another. Sehun refuses at first, but he accepts the second drink all too willingly when Adam returns.

He sits down and takes a sip every time he spots Kai laughing with someone else. He does not know when Adam had gone to get some more drinks, but he is glad when the man shows up with a whole tray of shots.

“You’re the best,” Sehun snorts.

“Am I now,” Adam laughs. “It looks like it’s totally your husband’s scene.”

Sehun looks to where Adam is pointing. His stomach churns uncomfortably when he finds Kai talking to the woman from earlier. She is wearing even fewer clothes than before. And it seems like they are having a blast.

Kai is offering to buy her a drink. She accepts. The music must be too loud because they are now saying stuff into each other’s ears.

Sehun knocks back two shots one after the other and groans. “I think I need some tequila,” he says and stands up. The ground spins for a moment, and he reaches out to hold onto Adam’s shoulder.

“Whoa,” lets out Adam. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Sehun pulls away and teeters towards the bar. He scans the dancing crowd for Kai, and scowls when his gaze lands on the bastard. “Why do I care?” he grumbles to himself. He should not be caring one bit. Their marriage is over. Their relationship is over. He has made it clear to Kai that he does not mind the man romancing someone else.

Then what was his little jab at Kai during dinner about? It isn’t like he had any right to stop Kai from seeing anyone else or falling in love again.

He doesn’t want to, anyway. In fact, he wants to fall in love again, too. He wants to move on the way Kai has. But it isn’t something that he could force to happen. He supposes it will take time before he can get used to wanting affection and love from someone other than Kai.

The bartender asks him what he wants as he clings to the counter. “Gin and tonic,” Sehun orders, sighing.

He then turns around, leaning back against the counter, to watch Kai. He frowns sadly and then angrily.

“Asshole.”

“I beg your pardon?” the guy next to him rasps.

“Not you,” Sehun mutters, waving him off tiredly. He takes his drink and wobbles his way back to Adam.

“Damn,” says Adam. “You might want to drink some water.”

“I’m fine,” mumbles Sehun, shoving Adam’s hand off his arm. Adam is asking him something. Sehun is not paying attention. He is watching Kai put his arms around that woman’s waist. He grips his jaw. Turning to Adam then, he says, “Do you want to dance?”

Adam blinks at him. “Uh… Yeah, sure.”

Grabbing Adam’s hand, Sehun yanks him up to his feet and hauls him toward the dancefloor. He isn’t sure if he is dancing or just swaying his hips awkwardly, but he gradually makes his way to Kai, drawing Adam with him.

Adam looks like he is having a good time, and he is smiling down at Sehun. Sehun drunkenly grins back. He briefly side-glances Kai again to see if the bastard is looking back. He isn’t. Kai is too distracted by the bitch, who is all over him.

Sehun throws his arms around Adam’s neck and pulls him close. Adam’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t refuse. He eventually places his hands on the sides of Sehun’s waist.

Though drunk, Sehun still feels odd dancing so intimately with another man. He would feel embarrassed to dance with even Kai like this! But he does not stop. When he looks at Kai once more, he finds the man staring at him. Sehun’s heart skips a beat when his gaze locks with Kai’s.

And then Kai looks away again. Sehun withdraws his arms from Adam and shuts his eyes, forgetting the world around him for a moment. He dances to the rhythm of the music, reaching for the sky.

He feels an arm curl around his waist. He does not fight it as it pulls him forward until his chest collides with another. It is so easy for him to recognize Kai’s cologne. He lazily opens his eyes and drapes his arms around Kai’s shoulders, slipping his fingers into Kai’s hair at the nape of his neck. Kai’s eyes were heavily lidded, his breath reeks of beer, and he looks just as drunk as Sehun, if not more. Sehun turns and leans his back against Kai, sliding his hands down the sides of Kai’s thighs. Kai nuzzles into a side of Sehun’s neck, his fingers digging into Sehun’s hips. His hot breath and lips graze Sehun’s neck while Sehun grinds back against Kai’s crotch.

Turning around to face Kai again, Sehun tangles his fingers in Kai’s hair and stares at Kai’s lips with his own lips parted and panting. He shudders at Kai’s hands that slithers into his shirt, stroking the small of his back. One of those hands dropped down to grab and grope at Sehun’s ass. Sehun does not mind. Nobody around them mind, as they bump into them, nudging them even closer together.

Sehun’s hands are all over Kai, as Kai’s are all over him. Their breathing is quick and shallow. Kai’s body is burning hot, and Sehun thinks his is, too. Together, it feels as though they are set alight.

Sehun licks his lips before parting them again. Kai parts his own, tilting his head a little. As their noses brush, Sehun sucks in a shaky breath, fingers gripping Kai’s hair at the back of his head. He walks his other hand down Kai’s bare chest that is exposed by his unbuttoned shirt.

He closes his eyes when Kai presses their lips together, his tongue pressing against Sehun’s. Neither of them breathe as they kiss sloppily with open mouths and demanding tongues. It feels like a lightning bolt, though at the same time, Sehun feels like he is melting away in Kai’s arms, that are holding him up.

Breaking the kiss, they dance some more, grinding against each other breathlessly. Kai slides hands down Sehun’s ass and thighs while Sehun leans his head to kiss the protrusion of Kai’s throat.

Kai pulls him back up for another long, hungry kiss. Fuck, Sehun realizes just how much he has missed Kai’s kisses. And god, it would feel fantastic to have Kai’s mouth all over him right about now.

He pulls back and takes hold of Kai’s hand. “Let’s go upstairs,” Sehun drawls. Kai nods his head shakily.

“That’s a good idea,” says Kai. His face is so red that Sehun nearly laughs. He was already hard when Sehun was grinding against him a while ago.

Jostling their way out of the crowd, they hurriedly meander their way towards the elevators.


	12. Chapter 12

The quiet is a little deafening. Usually, Sehun would prefer the silence to a conversation, of any sort, with Kai. But today, the silence in the car is incredibly unnerving.

Kimi’s wedding had been a simple yet elegant affair. It had not been as elaborate as Sehun had expected. The two weeks had passed rather quickly, too. But it was nowhere near quick enough when he was trying to avoid Kai.

And avoiding Kai is never an easy task.

Especially when they shared a room together. But Kai had gotten the hint eventually, and he managed to stay out of Sehun’s way as much as he could, keeping himself entertained or occupied with work-related stuff in the hotel room while Sehun spent most of his time at the resort with his family and friends instead.

They had also managed to get an extra bed on the fifth day there, which Kai slept on thereafter. And that, Sehun very much appreciated.

They haven’t talked about that night. It has become one of the many things they don’t talk about. For the better.

But it has become as clear as day that they are completely done with each other. Not even a speck of fire is left between them.

“Music?” Kai asks after a while, breaking the silence at last, much to Sehun’s surprise. He did not think Kai would ever want to speak to him again after that night.

He shrugs in response before returning his attention to his phone’s screen.

The whole thing has been exhausting, if he is being honest. Pretending to be married, to be in love. Pretending to everyone as though this marriage hasn’t failed and that they are perfectly happy.

Sehun is happy that it is over now, and he can go home. The next time he will meet his family, it might be after the divorce. In many ways, it might even be a relief. Perhaps by then, he would have mustered the aplomb to admit to everyone that the decisions he had made when he was young were wrong.

It was wrong to fall in love with Kai. It was wrong to have gotten married so young. It was very, very wrong to be so naïve and to believe that there’s such a thing as everlasting love.

“What now?” asks Kai.

Sehun raises an eyebrow. “Hm?”

“That fellow,” says Kai as the song _Love is a Battlefield_ by _Pat Benatar_ plays. “Adam seems like a nice guy.”

Sehun scowls at Kai. “So?”

Kai sighs. “I’m just saying he’s nice. It seems like you two get along well.”

Adam was one of the few reasons Sehun was able to stay sane and keep away from Kai back at the resort for nearly two weeks. In fact, Sehun does very much enjoy Adam’s company. They share a lot of common interests, and Adam is a very respectful, charming and lovely man.

But Sehun is done with romance for now. He never should have believed in it in the first place. The last thing he should do is plunge back into the same puddle of mud he just got out of. Besides, Adam did not seem like the kind of guy who would make a move on a married person. Unless Sehun has completely missed the signals.

“I’ve known him since I was a kid,” he says. “Of course, we get along well.”

“You know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

Sehun’s eyebrows furrow deeper. “What are you talking about, then?”

Kai shrugs. “It’s obvious. You like him. Better him than our underage part-time gardener.”

Sehun draws a deep breath. “Now, that’s not any of your business now, is it? So, just butt out, will you?”

Kai pins him with a sidelong glower before he says, “I’m just saying I’m not mad.”

“Why would you be mad?” scoffs Sehun. “You don’t have that right. And I don’t need your approval to see other people, okay?”

Kai purses his lips tightly, one hand clenched around the steering wheel while the other grips the gearstick.

“I don’t ask you about where you stick your prong, do I?” adds Sehun begrudgingly.

Kai smirks, though he keeps his gaze focused on the road. “Oh, if only you did,” he mutters cockily. As much as Sehun wants to demand a clarification for that obnoxious statement, he decides not to take the bait, as it is exactly what Kai is hoping for.

Instead, he turns up the radio and stares out the window, fighting the urge to get out of the car and call a taxi to take him home.

“I didn’t mean to pick a fight,” says Kai a while later. “I really just… want you to be happy, Sehun.”

Sehun nearly laughs. “That ship has long sailed, hasn’t it? And you can drop the act. I know that you wish that I was rotting in a ditch right now.”

“That’s not true.”

“Look. Can we just go back not talking? Literally nothing ever good comes out of it.”

“We’re in this situation because we didn’t talk enough when we should have, Sehun.” He shifts the gear as he pulls into a gas station. Then angrily slamming a hand against the wheel, he storms out of the car.

When he returns a while later, they tacitly agree to not to speak again.

* * *

While he isn’t surprised that Sehun doesn’t have any good faith in him anymore, it still hurts. Kai is not essentially a bad man. At least not to his own conscience. He knows that he has been an integral part of why his marriage has failed, but he isn’t lying when he says that he wants Sehun to be happy. He has been unhappy for so long that if the only thing that can make him happy now is his separation from Kai, then so be it.

It is too late for them. But that does not stop Kai from trying as much as he can to turn things around, even though it seems virtually impossible at this point. He has fucked up in a million ways, and he simply cannot undo any of those mistakes. And Sehun has fallen so out of love with him that there is just no hope left for them.

Kai should have made his peace with it a long time ago. The fact that he hasn’t – or _wouldn’t_ – is entirely his foul-up and he just has to live with its consequences.

Is there anything more painful that watching something you love so dearly slip away from you, out of sheer hatred and resentment? And being so helpless.

Of course, he will move on eventually. Life has to go on. But there will always be a void in his heart that only Sehun can fill. It is a void Kai will have to carry to his grave.

He has been foolish, and perhaps naïve, to think that their stay at the resort for a little more than a week might present him an opportunity to rekindle their relationship. But it is hard to rekindle something that is already dead.

He should have known. He should have known that when Sehun would hate him for it all.

It is all a blur. They had both been quite sloshed. But what he remembers, he remembers quite lucidly. They had both made their way up to their room in a hurry, stumbling and wobbling, catching each other, making out on the elevator ride up to their floor.

And as soon as they reached their room, they spilled in, tangled in limbs, hands already yanking each other’s clothes off. Kai remembers being shoved onto the bed before Sehun straddled him. He remembers being kissed until he was completely out of breath. He remembers how ridiculously obscene Sehun looked when he was grinding his ass against Kai’s crotch, both still fully clothed.

He had easily yielded when Kai plopped him onto the bed and mounted him, kissing him full on the mouth while his hands stroked the sides of Sehun’s waist.

One moment, they were devouring each other, and the next, Sehun was shoving Kai off of him.

He then sat up on the edge of the bed and scrubbed his face with his hands while Kai stared at him vacantly.

Sehun wasted no time getting off the bed and turning to face Kai to start lobbing a bunch of horrid claims and accusations at him. Though he still looked rather drunk, he did not slur. He told Kai that this was all a mistake, and that he would not be used for the night and tossed away like Kai’s other bedwarmers – to put it mildly. And that he would rather lie with anyone at the resort than with Kai that night.

Kai longer remembers what he had said in response, but he remembers walking out of the room after hurling a flower vase against a wall, which he paid for later, of course.

The rest of their stay there had been – fortunately – uneventful, between them that is. Kai considered leaving, but he did not want to miss Kimi’s wedding, and he did not want to humiliate Sehun in front of his family by taking off unannounced.

When their divorce is finalized, Kai is certain that he will never see Sehun again. Not unless Sehun wills it himself. And knowing that only makes everything harder.

* * *

“Hey,” Alia says as she lets herself in. Kai looks up from his computer screen and sighs. “Are you busy?”

“As a matter of fact, I am,” says Kai. “What do you want, Miss Rahm?”

Alia walks over to the desk and leans over it with a coy simper on her painted lips. It has been months since Kai had called it quits with her, and she hasn’t stopped trying her luck for a do over. Sometimes, Kai even considers it. But he’s decided that he wants nothing serious at the moment, not with Lia, not with anyone. It is better to keep things casual, and he knows that it isn’t what Lia is after.

“What are you doing for Christmas this year?” she asks. “If you’re not doing anything, you can come celebrate it with me.”

“I have plans,” says Kai, and for once, it isn’t an excuse. He actually has had made plans for the holidays. To visit his mother’s winter cabin and do absolutely nothing but get pickled on scotch and watch reruns of _Miami Vice_.

It is all that he can do to not to relive all the Christmases he has had with Sehun in the past.

“Oh,” says Lia, straightening up again. “Well, if you change your mind, you know how to reach me.” With a wink, she sashays her way out of his office as he exhales heavily.

* * *

Sehun is sitting by the kitchen island, glowering at some pages when Kai saunters into the kitchen to grab a bite before heading upstairs when he returns from work.

“Manuscript?” he asks Sehun, who nods in response.

“I absolutely hate my new editor,” he grumbles while Kai fetches a mug and starts the coffee machine. “If I don’t publish this book, I’m going to end up on the streets pretty soon.”

Kai smirks as he looks for some leftover to heat up. “Then maybe you should reconsider divorcing me.”

“Hilarious,” muttered Sehun, returning his scowl to the papers.

“What are you writing about this time? Want to run it by me? I could put in a good word for you to some of the editors I work with for the company publishing.”

Sehun’s head whipped up all of a sudden to look at Kai with something like surprise.

Kai arches his brows, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “What?”

Sehun stares at him for a little longer before he lowers his gaze again. “Nothing,” he murmurs. “It’s just that… it’s the first time you ever asked me about my book.”

Kai pauses in his tracks. “Have I never asked you about it before?”

Sehun scoffs. “No,” he says. “You don’t care about my books. You’ve never even read any. I didn’t think you even have any faith in me that I will make it as a writer.”

Kai frowns. “I have all the faith in you, Sehun,” he says, and Sehun looks up at him again earnestly. Licking his lips, Kai then says, “I’m sorry if that’s the impression I gave you. Just because I don’t read your books, it doesn’t mean I don’t support or respect what you’re doing. I… I’m sorry that you think I never showed any interest in your passion. That’s on me. But if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know. I know you like to solve your problems on your own, so I won’t foist myself on your business.”

Sehun looks a little conflicted, but he manages to nod his head. On his way out, Kai tries touching his arm to display some comfort. But when Sehun flinches at the touch, Kai quickly withdraws his hand and walks out of the kitchen with his heart in his mouth.


	13. Chapter 13

The weather is getting colder, and it is getting harder to stay warm. And angry. There is something beautiful about impending winter. Something almost calming and solacing.

“Here you go,” says Adam as he returns to their table with a cup of pumpkin spice latte and the mint-flavoured hot chocolate Sehun ordered. They haven’t seen each other in a while, so Sehun had been glad when he got the invitation from Adam to join him for some coffee this afternoon.

“Thank you,” he mutters with a smile, stirring the whipped cream into the hot chocolate.

“How is it going with the new book?”

Sehun sighs. “Not that great,” he admits. “But I am making some changes that will hopefully make my editor happy. What about you? Have you been up to anything fascinating lately?”

“Not since Kimi’s wedding,” says Adam. “How’s… Kai?”

Sehun wishes that he knew. Kai has been putting in a lot of hours at the office, or he is simply avoiding Sehun. “He is fine,” Sehun answers curtly before he quickly changes the subject, which isn’t difficult. They have a lot to talk about that does not involve each other’s private lives.

Sehun does not have many friends. It almost feels as though the only long-term friend he has ever had is Kai. Or _was._ So, it is nice that he gets to talk about mundane things with Adam from time to time.

After nearly an hour of talking about their favourite book authors, classic movies and painters, they wend their way out of the café.

Ambling along the sidewalk, Sehun glances to the old couple, who slowly walk past him, hand-in-hand. Something inside him twists almost painfully, and he looks away, frowning.

“What do you think about–” Adam begins to say, but Sehun abruptly cuts him off.

“Can I tell you something?” he asks.

Adam cocks an eyebrow. “Of course?”

Swallowing, Sehun lowers his head to stare at his moving feet. “I haven’t told anyone,” he says. “I just feel like I have to tell _someone_ now. This is just… too heavy for me to bear in silence anymore.”

“Did you murder somebody or something?”

Sehun makes a face at him then, and Adam smirks. “Seriously. Can you keep it a secret?”

Adam exhales heavily and nods. “Cross my heart. You can talk to me about anything, Sehun.”

Sehun is not sure that that is true, but for now, he does not hold back and decides to take a chance on the man. He is the only potential shoulder Sehun has right now to cry on, and with each day, he badly craves that shoulder.

“Is it about… your husband?” asks Adam, and Sehun stops in his tracks.

“Uh… How did you…”

Adam shrugs. “Well, for one I’m observant _and_ the tension between you two wasn’t that subtle back at the resort. And your wedding ring is being resized for months. And you never, I mean, _never_ talk about Kai. So, I can put two and two together.”

Sehun sighs and closes his eyes for a moment before walking over the bridge that hovers over the river that runs through the city. “It’s hard.”

“What’s going on?” inquires Adam, sidling next to Sehun.

After taking in a deep breath, Sehun says, “We’re in the middle of a divorce.”

“Oh…”

“And I know what I want. I want to get out of this marriage. And yet I’m having a very… _very_ hard time separating from him.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that he’s always been there for a big and important part of my life so far. It’s difficult for me to expunge everything about him out of my life, and I doubt that I will ever be able to.” He turns and faces Adam. “I still live in his house. I still eat his food. I still sleep in the bed he bought. I still wear the clothes he got me. In some ways, I feel like I should be taking advantage of him. To punish him, even though I don’t think he deserves to be punished. Not any more than I do. I am torn. I wish there was a way for me to leave everything that is even remotely connected to him. But it’s not possible for the time being.”

“Why don’t you get your own place? That will give you some space from him.”

“I should be able to,” says Sehun. “But it’ll be easier after the divorce settlement. Even then, how am I going to be my own person? This man… he’s been an integral part of my life. He’s been in every aspect of it.”

“That’s quite a pickle you’re in,” says Adam. “Who… asked for the divorce, if you don’t mind my asking.”

Sehun rubs his forehead. “I did. I felt like everything was just going wrong. We weren’t the same people we fell in love with. I no longer felt the same way about him, and he didn’t about me. I couldn’t do it anymore. Everything that he did… made me furious. And soon, we were just sniping at each other, lacerating one another with words. We couldn’t stand the sight of each other. And there was an… incident. He didn’t hurt me, but I knew he wanted to. I deliberately pushed him towards it, of course. But I couldn’t believe that he went that far. That _I_ went that far. It was time to call it. And ever since, he hasn’t stopped hurting and angering me. He’s able to move on fast. I always feel so… inadequate for some reason.”

Adam raises a hand to squeeze Sehun’s shoulder. “I’m sorry that you’re going through this,” he says. “Especially on your own. But… you’re not alone. I’m here for you if you need me to be. I can’t tell you what the best course of action is for your problem, but maybe it’ll be easier if you… found the closure you need to be able to move on. And separating completely from someone you once loved is impossible, in my opinion. All you can do is try and erase the bad memories and keep the good ones. It’ll help.”

Sehun smiles. “Thank you. I just wish I… had the answers.”

“No one has the answers, Sehun,” replies Adam. “But… someone once told me that… only the people we love the most can truly hurt us and invoke all sorts of emotions in us.”

Sehun scoffs. “I most certainly don’t love him. Not anymore.”

Adam only smiles in response, and it is a smile that makes Sehun flush for some reason.

* * *

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Kai mutters for the nth time, tossing his head back against the couch while trying to watch a rerun of a UFC match. It isn’t the match that he is talking about, however.

He tears his gaze from the TV screen to the sideboard, on top of which a giant bouquet of red and white roses stand. Mrs. Han has put them in a nice glass vase. He isn’t sure what he was thinking when he impulsively walked into a florist on his way home. He has also not come home this early in a while.

He was glad when he found out Sehun was not in when he came home with a big bunch of flowers, which might or might not have been for Sehun.

It is the stupidest, cringiest thing Kai has done in a long time. Flowers? For the person he is divorcing. For the person who hates him the most in this world.

Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing ever?

“I am clocking out now, sir,” says Mrs. Han as she grabs her coat. “There’s food in the oven.”

“Thank you. Good night, Mrs. Han,” says Kai.

“You too, sir.”

“Wait, Mrs. Han. Did… Sehun tell you where he is?”

“Uh… I’m afraid not, sir.”

Kai nods and dismisses her.

Of course, Sehun is out with that guy Adam. He never leaves the house otherwise.

Kai considers, for the eleventh time, to toss out the flowers before Sehun comes home and finds them. But for some reason, Kai doesn’t do it. Instead, he waits for Sehun.

It is nearly ten o’clock at night when the front door opens, and Sehun steps in, sighing exhaustedly. He freezes in the foyer, looking to Kai in the living area, surprised to find him on the couch.

“Hey,” he mutters as he makes his way to the kitchen.

“You’re home late,” comments Kai, even though that he knows he should have kept his mouth shut.

Sehun stops and glances back at him with an arched brow. “So?”

Kai lets out a heavy breath. “Not trying to have an argument with you. Forget I said anything.”

Sehun scoffs. He disappears into the kitchen for a moment before returning with banana. He then plumps in a nearby couch and shakes his head with a condescending smirk.

“Rich,” he says.

Kai averts his eyes from the TV and fixes them on Sehun. “Excuse me?”

Sehun leans back on the couch and takes a bite of the banana. “I just mean it’s rich coming from you. You’re late every night, that is if you even bother to come home at all, and you’re nagging _me_ about being late?”

Kai mildly rolls his eyes. “I was just expressing concern.”

Sehun snorts. “Who asked?”

Kai nearly chuckles, but he doesn’t. “Right. Got it. I’ll leave you alone.” He turns the TV off and starts to get off the couch.

“I was out with Adam,” Sehun says all of a sudden.

“Good for you,” Kai mutters, walking toward the staircase.

“Now, you tell me why _you_ only come home most nights after I’m asleep,” says Sehun.

“Because I don’t want to have a fight with you every night,” says Kai, taking a step up the stairs, hand gripping the railing.

“What a bunch of bullshit,” scoffs Sehun, and Kai stops. “We both know the real reason.”

“Is that the same reason you’re late tonight?” asks Kai, and that immediately riles Sehun up. The smirk falters from his face. “You exhaust me, Sehun.”

“Good.”

Kai glances away from a moment, breathing exasperatedly. Then looking to Sehun again, “I don’t want to fight with you tonight, okay?”

“Why not? Isn’t that our deal now? Make our existence unbearable to each other?”

“You don’t remember what today is, do you?” asks Kai, shaking his head lightly.

Sehun stares at him then. “What?”

“Forget about it,” sighs Kai as he proceeds up to his room.

* * *

It is fourteen minutes until midnight when Kai hears a knock on his bedroom door. He has been unable to fall asleep, so he has the TV running while he sits on the bed, taking care of some work-related tasks on his laptop, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.

He knows that it is Sehun, but he doesn’t bother to get the door himself.

“It’s unlocked,” he calls out.

Sehun hesitates for a long moment that Kai wonders if he has decided not to hound Kai with whatever hurtful insult he wants to lob at him at this hour.

But then the doorknob turns and the door creaks open.

“Are you… asleep?” asks Sehun, even though he knows that Kai isn’t.

Kai sets his laptop aside and looks at Sehun.

Sehun licks his lips and fidgets for a moment, blankly glancing here and there. “I… saw the flowers. Were they… from you?”

Kai isn’t sure why his heart is beating fast all of a sudden. “I got them for the house,” he says, running a hand through his hair.

Sehun meets his gaze then, frowning. “What’s today?” he asks.

“I think you know,” says Kai.

Sehun grips the doorknob with one hand while clutching the hem of his shirt with the other. “The day we met,” he says.

Kai nods his head curtly. “And he wins the prize,” he murmured quietly, raising his hands to the back of his head.

Sehun’s frown hardens into a scowl. “What the fuck are you doing?” he then asks. “Why the hell are you getting me flowers…” He huffs and grinds his teeth. “In case you forgot, we are not a couple anymore, Kai.”

“I still don’t regret meeting you, Sehun,” says Kai, and it instantly shuts Sehun up. “I know that sometimes I say things to get back at you, but the truth is – and you’ve always known what the truth is – that I never regretted… _you_.”

Sehun clenches his hands into fists then. “You are playing games with me. I don’t know if you are trying to make amends, but it’s too late for that. Do you understand? Nothing you do is going to change my mind now, Kai. I _don’t_ love you. I don’t even like you anymore.”

Kai’s throat closes around a lump, and he tries his best to mask the grief that wilts his expression. “If the flowers upset you that much, just get rid of them and go to bed, Sehun. Sorry.”

He grabs his laptop and pretends to be distracted. But Sehun doesn’t leave.

“Is there something more that you wish to tell me?” asks Kai, sighing heavily.

“I hate you,” says Sehun. “I hate you like a madman.”

Kai licks and bites his lower lip, staring at Sehun. “Are you just stating the obvious now?”

Sehun falls silent for a length. Then in a stern tone, he says, “You’re a cruel man.”

With that, he turns around and slams the door shut behind him.

A few minutes later, once Kai is settled in his bed, ready for sleep to muffle his despair, he hears the door open again. This time, it is quieter, and it closes as soon as it opens.

He does not turn around to look at Sehun. Even if Sehun is here to stab him with a knife while he sleeps, Kai is willing to accept it. He is simply too tired for it all.

The room smells like soap and shampoo all of a sudden. What is Sehun doing here?

Much to Kai’s surprise, he feels a weight shift on the mattress behind him. He starts to hold his breath, eyes staring into the darkness of his room.

Sehun lifts the weighted duvet and slips under it next to Kai before resting his head on one of the pillows. Kai is unable to turn a hair for a minute.

He then feels an arm snake around his waist under the duvet and a nose pressing into the crook of his neck from behind.

“What… are you… doing, Sehun?” he asks in a raspy whisper but receives no answer.


	14. Chapter 14

Just a moment ago, Sehun had called Kai a cruel man. Well, he isn’t the one constantly toying with someone’s heart. Not for a second will Kai think that Sehun wholeheartedly believes that Kai harbours no more feelings, _love_ in particular, for him.

Is this some sort of payback? Or is Sehun just teasing him as he always does? Kai usually does not take the bait, not when Sehun shows up at his door in the middle of the night when it’s storming outside, not when he is sick and begging Kai to stay by his side. The only time he gave in was back at the resort. And as anticipated, Sehun had only let him down and left him in disappointment.

Swallowing hard, Kai tries to ignore Sehun’s cold hand that is now pressed against his stomach.

“You cannot sleep here, Sehun,” mutters Kai past the lump in his throat that is making it difficult for him to speak.

He hasn’t had Sehun this close in a long time. Especially not in this bed, where they once used to lay on every night, limbs tangled, bodies pressed, their hearts beating upon the other’s. The bed is always too cold without Sehun in it. But tonight, Kai is able to relive the nights he used to spend in Sehun’s arms and Sehun in his. Part of him is still wondering if this is just another one of his cruel dreams that dissipates into a disappointing reality when he wakes up.

“Who said anything about sleeping?” Sehun replies in a soft voice, and his breath grazes the back of Kai’s neck.

Kai clenches his eyes and jaw as Sehun draws his hand up the firm muscles of Kai’s abdomen, his slender fingers lightly brushing against the deep clefts of the abs, all the way up to Kai’s sternum.

Kai lets out a shaky breath when Sehun’s hand moves back down his body, lightly stroking his skin. He does not stop even as his fingers reach the waistband of Kai’s boxers. His own breathing quickens, the tip of his nose brushing against the nape of Kai’s neck.

Just as his fingers begin to breach past the waistband, Kai catches his hand and turns around, grinding his teeth.

Now lying on his back, he faces Sehun, eyes glaring into the other’s. Much to his surprise, Sehun looks tired, almost drowsy. He is wearing a flimsy blue T-shirt that is a size too big. Kai isn’t sure if he is wearing anything else. His freshly washed hair is now dry and fluffy. He still smells so good.

Kai’s scowl eases, and he licks his lips. His hand then loosens around Sehun’s.

Sehun keeps his eyes locked on Kai’s, which makes it very hard for Kai to hold onto his self-restraint. As soon as Kai’s hand releases his, Sehun slowly slips his fingers into Kai’s boxers, following the trail of hairs to the base of his cock.

“Sehun,” Kai exhales, gasping lightly as Sehun runs his fingers along the length, all the way to the tip. Sliding his thumb along the slit of the cockhead, Sehun wraps his hand around the thickly veined, pulsating shaft.

Kai grunts with his eyes shut and hands fisted around the sheets. He has to try to not to lose all control. But it is overwhelming. He isn’t drunk this time, and the sobriety comes with its own price. Everything is more receptible. He does not know if he can stop himself from pinning Sehun’s wrists to the bed and take him, for all the endless nights he has craved for Sehun’s warmth. Just one more time.

But he manages to keep his hands to himself while Sehun works him, fingers closed firmly around the hardening cock, slowly and steadily stroking it.

Kai feels giddy for a moment, his head swirling with all sorts of sensations. His eyes fling open when Sehun slides closer to him, close enough for his lips to touch a corner of Kai’s jaw.

“You like this, don’t you?” whispers Sehun, running his thumb once more along Kai’s cock slit.

 _Fuck…_ Kai’s mind is suddenly flooded with images of Sehun running the tip of his tongue along the slit, licking up the precome and driving Kai towards the edge of his sanity.

Without even realizing, his arm slips under Sehun and curls around his waist, yanking him closer until their bodies are pressed together.

Throwing a leg over Kai’s, Sehun then picks up the pace of his strokes, his hand pumping Kai’s cock harder. “Kai…” he moans in a whispery breath, lips brushing against the corner of Kai’s lips.

Groaning, Kai throws his head back into the pillow, heels planted firmly in the mattress, hips bucking, thrusting his cock into Sehun’s grip as his entire body burns. His head is buzzing, and his body is covered in beads of sweat.

“Fuck,” he hisses, tightening his arm around Sehun’s waist, as Sehun strokes him faster. It does not take him long from there to climax, bursting into thick white ropes that wet and stain his boxers along with Sehun’s fingers.

The immediate cooldown that washes over his body is almost relieving. He loosens his arm around Sehun while his sweaty chest and stomach heave.

He keeps his eyes closed for a length, panting for air.

Sehun eventually retrieves his hand from Kai’s boxers and lazily regards the white stains on his fingers. He sighs.

“That was faster than I remember,” he remarks quietly, resting his head on Kai’s shoulder.

Wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of a hand, Kai lets out, “It has been a while.”

Sehun lifts his head and arches an eyebrow. “What about… that girl from your office?”

Kai really does not wish to speak about this right now, especially when he is still in a state of daze, head jaded, vision blurred, breath short. So, he slurs absentmindedly. “I don’t… see her… anymore.”

Sehun falls silent again, looking at his hand. Then licking his lips, he says, “I see…”

Once Kai’s head has cleared again, he glances at Sehun with furrowed eyebrows. “What is this?” he asks.

Sehun is silent for a long moment before he sits up, slouching.

Kai thinks of cleaning himself up, but he wants an answer before he gets off the bed. He wants to know what this is. Not only is he exhausted, he is very confused. And even though he does not expect Sehun to give him any clarification, he has to ask.

“Nothing,” mutters Sehun.

Kai props himself up on his elbows and frowns. “What does… that mean?”

“It means this is _nothing_ ,” says Sehun.

Kai scoffs out a chuckle that makes Sehun scowl back at him. “A moment ago, you had your hand around my dick. That’s not nothing, Sehun. Neither was what happened back at the resort for your cousin’s wedding.”

“We were drunk.”

“What’s your excuse now?” asks Kai.

Sehun huffs exasperatedly then and climbs out of the bed. “You are insufferable,” he mutters under his breath and starts toward the door.

Kai quickly hurried after him and seized his arm to stop him. “You have to tell me why you did it.”

Sehun groans. “Consider it a favour,” he spits.

“A favour for what?” rasps Kai, his grip tightening around Sehun’s arm. “Why is it so hard for you to admit that you miss me? That you appreciate the flowers. That you want things to go back to the way they were.”

“You’re in way over your head, Kim Kai,” When he tries to turn away, Kai yanks him back.

“You know they have a different name for those who do this sort of stuff as favours,” growls Kai, glowering now.

That is when Sehun backhands a side of Kai’s face. “You’re such a dick.”

Rolling his jaw that has just been struck, Kai tugs at Sehun’s arm before shoving him back against the door.

Sehun blinks at him. “What are you…”

“Let me return the favour, so that we’re even,” Kai says, taking hold of Sehun’s wrists as he leans in. Sehun’s eyes are wide with both confusion and anticipation, his part lips almost touching Kai’s.

Then breathing heavily with his jaw set tight, Kai releases Sehun’s wrists and goes down to his knees.

“Wait,” gasps Sehun, but he does nothing more to stop Kai from lifting the hem of his oversized T-shirt and lowering the skimpy underwear he is wearing under the T-shirt.

An amused snort breaks from Kai’s lips. “You’re already hard,” he comments, running his tongue along his lips to wet them before he looks up to see Sehun blushing in embarrassment.

As he starts to bow his head, Sehun’s hand flies up to grab Kai’s hair. Tugging at it, he forces Kai to look up again while he scowls down at him. Then barely breathing, he loosens his grip on Kai’s hair and closes his eyes, resting his head back against the door.


End file.
